I’m 28 & I Feel Like I Need To Get Married & Have Kids ASAP

While I know 28 isn’t old, I still feel like I’m behind in life. I’ve never had a long-term relationship and have never found someone I could picture starting a family with. The clock is ticking and I feel like I’m running out of time.

Once you’re 30, it’s crunch time. I’m not even 30 yet, but I’m quickly getting there, which is kinda concerning me. I feel like I have to start scrambling to find a guy to settle down and have babies with because that’s just what I’m supposed to do to be a “real adult,” right?

Studies show the best age to have a baby is 26. Apparently the ideal age to have a child is 26… and I’m already 28. I’m not even totally sure that I want a kid, but it would be nice to have the option. Maybe the reason so many women are struggling with infertility is that it’s not as common to have kids in our early 20s the way it used to be half a century ago. At this point, having kids straight out of high school isn’t really an attractive option for most women. That’s a good thing, but it makes starting a family feel like a race to the finish line.

Women should apparently have their last pregnancy before age 35. Science says that 35 is the latest a woman can have a baby and be completely safe. If you factor in dating someone, getting engaged, getting married, having your first child, having your second child… I’m basically toast if I don’t meet the love of my life in the next year or so.

I haven’t had a long-term relationship yet. I’ve dated a lot of different guys, but it never lasts very long. I look at other people and wonder how they maintain these long-term relationships. It just hasn’t happened for me yet for some reason and I’m starting to think that I’m doing something wrong. Can’t blame a girl for being concerned…

There’s much more pressure on women to find a partner ASAP. I find that there’s way more pressure on women to find a partner than there is on men and I’m pretty sure it’s because we’re on a tight timeline. Guys can wait until they’re 40 or 50 to start a family, but if you’re a woman, you kinda have to do it pretty much ASAP. It’s just not fair.

Guys judge us for being “needy” the older we get. I want to find my life partner now as opposed to later because the longer I wait, the more desperate I’ll seem. I don’t want to be one of those women in their mid-30s who’s willing to settle for anyone just because she’s running out of time. That would just really suck. I’m at the exact point in my life that I should be finally finding my soulmate, so where is he? What gives?

I want to believe that it’ll just happen when it’s meant to. I’ve been pretty lazy up until this point, assuming that if I just sit tight and keep the faith, the right guy will magically come along and everything will be OK. I kinda wish I was a little more realistic about love in my early 20s, because now I’m stuck at 28, without a partner and feeling like I’m strapped for time.

I love being single, but now I feel like I have to change my ways. When you’re in your late 20s, being single starts to seem less and less attractive. You want to start investing in people and take dating seriously, or at least I do. I never thought I would want to settle down, but the second I turned 28, it just sort of hit me.

Maybe it’s my fault for being so picky? I can’t help but think I’m the reason this is happening. There are plenty of women out there who are younger than me and who have a solid long-term relationship going, some of whom are even engaged. Why isn’t that me? What am I doing wrong? Do I dare to lower my standards? Ugh.

There’s this idea that something is wrong with us if we’re not married or have kids and it’s BS. I kinda resent the fact that women are seen as less valuable as people if we’re not married or planning on having kids. We want to have the chance to pursue our careers and make a big impact on the world even if that means staying single and child-free. Maybe I should be focusing on the new ideals of what a woman should be and not get so wrapped up in what has been traditionally expected of us, but it’s just so hard.

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