When I’m in a relationship, I totally forget what it’s like when I’m single and have no one around to touch me regularly. Humans don’t get enough physical contact as is, and when we’re rolling solo, we get even less. I miss the simple joy of touch terribly and I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that.
- I always take touch for granted until I’m single again. When I’m dating, I never appreciate the power of touch as much as I should. I get so much casual physical contact with another person that it seems like a given. When I’m single, like I am now, I reminisce longingly about those affectionate days and wished I would have appreciated it more when I had it.
- I miss simple things like holding hands. It’s the littlest gestures that I miss the most—a gentle palm on the small of my back, walking with my hand in someone else’s, the sweetness of my guy brushing the hair away from my face… you get the picture. It’s excruciating sometimes to go without those signs of affection.
- I hug extra hard and long now. I get touched so much less when I’m single that I try to make it count more. I give the best hugs you’ll ever get because I’m so happy to be doing it! I just want an excuse to be close to another human. I hate to admit that but it’s true.
- I tend to hang all over my girlfriends if they let me. It doesn’t seem as weird to be extra affectionate with my girls, and they get the loneliness of being single. They totally let me hug on them or put my head on their shoulders. They’re the sweetest and I so appreciate the love.
- I also hang on my guy friends, which can get weird. I have to be careful because my instinct is to get as much human contact as I can. Unfortunately, this can come across as inappropriate or send the wrong signals. I try to restrain myself with the dudes who are taken or who I might inadvertently hurt.
- I don’t have a pet anymore so I literally get no physical affection. At least I used to have an animal around to pet and snuggle. When he passed away I had a very tough time. I felt like my apartment was a gaping black hole, cold and bare and lonely. I understand now why people get depressed when their pets die—sometimes they’re the sole source of physical love in a person’s life.
- I get chills every time a guy touches me casually. I know that I’m in a bad spot because I swear that every time a man accidentally brushes against me, I can’t concentrate for about five minutes straight. I feel a very keen need for affection anyway, even when I’m getting it. I’m quite a physical human and lack of contact really sucks.
- I make up excuses to touch people. I never used to be the kind of person who liked to hug, but now I hug everyone, even people I barely know. I pass it off as friendliness, but really I just need to have some kind of physical contact with other people, no matter how casual. I’m the queen of awkward shoulder pats.
- I try not to let others see how much touch affects me. It’s hard to play it off like no big deal when I’m this thirsty to have any kind of physical contact with another living being, but I do my best. Sometimes I even try to alleviate the loneliness by getting a massage or something, but it’s not the same.
- I want to cuddle someone—anyone—immediately. I honestly don’t even miss sex nearly as much as I miss cuddling. I wish I had someone I could platonically cuddle without it being super weird. Sometimes I feel like I’ll go crazy if I don’t find someone who wants to snuggle me this very minute.
- I practically attack people’s pets when I see them. It’s not nearly as creepy when I love all over an animal, so I try to do so as often as possible. I never cared much before when I saw a dog on the street, but now I’m showering love all over the pets of strangers. I try to play it low-key, but I’m sure that it doesn’t work.
- I’m scared to even date because I feel so impatient. Things have gone on this way too long. I know I’ll meet someone and want to rush things just so I can feel human again. It won’t be good for the relationship in the long run, but I won’t care. I know this and it makes me really hesitant to go out with anyone.
- I make up excuses to awkwardly touch people. I pat people’s backs and tap them to get by, even when it’s not really necessary. Often these are complete strangers, but I do it anyway—no one says anything, but I worry that I’m being a total weirdo sometimes. I don’t want to come across like a creep.
- I hate myself for missing touch so badly, even though it’s natural. I think as a society, we label the need for touch as strange and weirdly sexual when it’s not that at all. It’s not even about sex—it’s just about feeling a connection to another being. We need that connection. I know that when I don’t get it, I’m thrown off balance as a person. I don’t like feeling shameful for wanting something that’s actually natural.
