Relationships have ups and downs, but feeling disconnected from your spouse can create distance. The good news is with a little effort and a few positive changes, you can bridge that gap and reignite the connection. Here are 15 actionable changes you can make to bring you closer and strengthen your relationship.
1. Prioritize Quality Time Together
Life gets busy, and it’s easy to let quality time with your spouse slip through the cracks. But if you’re feeling distant, it’s crucial to carve out time to prioritize each other and the relationship. Whether it’s a weekly date night, a weekend getaway, or enjoying a quiet evening at home without distractions, making time to connect is vital. Put away the phones, turn off the TV, and be present with each other. Enjoying uninterrupted time together will help you reconnect on a deeper level.
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
A lack of communication is one of the biggest barriers to closeness in a relationship. Distance will only grow if you’re not talking about what’s happening—whether it’s your feelings, needs, or frustrations. Start having honest, open conversations with your spouse about your feelings. Listen to them, too, without judgment or interruption. Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship; improving it can bring you closer together.
3. Show Appreciation Daily
It will become an issue if you can’t remember the last time you told your spouse you appreciate it. Over time, it’s easy to take each other for granted, but a little appreciation goes a long way. Make it a habit to express gratitude for the things they do. Whether it’s thanking them for cooking dinner, noticing their hard work, or just letting them know how much you value them, showing appreciation can reignite those warm, fuzzy feelings and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.
4. Revisit Your Shared Goals and Dreams
It’s important to revisit the goals and dreams you share. Whether it was traveling the world, starting a family, or building a home together, discussing and keeping track of these aspirations can bring you closer. Sit down, talk about what you’re both working toward and make new goals if your old ones have shifted. Having shared dreams, you’re working toward strengthens your bond and gives you both something to look forward to.
5. Touch More Often
Physical touch and intimacy is a powerful way to reconnect with your spouse. If there is a lack of physical affection, try holding hands, hugging, or cuddling on the couch. Affection releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which can help you feel more connected and in tune with each other. Don’t underestimate the power of touch in rebuilding intimacy and connection.
6. Be Supportive of Each Other’s Interests
Having different interests is natural, but supporting your spouse’s hobbies and passions is crucial. Show genuine interest in what they love, even if it’s not your thing. Attend their events, ask about their day, and encourage them to pursue what makes them happy. When your spouse feels supported and free to nurture their interests, it fosters a sense of closeness and mutual respect.
7. Surprise Each Other
Routine and a lack of spontaneity can be a relationship killer. Surprise your spouse with a thoughtful and unexpected gesture to break the monotony. It doesn’t have to be grand—a sweet note in their bag, cooking their favorite meal, or a small gift can make a big impact. These little surprises show your spouse that you’re thinking of them and want to keep the spark alive.
8. Resolve Conflicts Quickly
Holding onto grudges or letting conflicts fester creates emotional distance and resentment. If you’ve been sweeping issues under the rug, address them head-on to clear the air. Have those tough conversations, apologize when necessary, and work together to find resolutions. Resolving conflicts quickly prevents resentment from building and keeps your relationship strong.
9. Laugh Together
Laughter is one of the best medicines and a great way to bond with your spouse. If your relationship feels too heavy, inject humor into your daily life. Watch a funny movie, share a joke, or reminisce about funny moments from the past. Laughter lightens the mood, reduces stress, and makes you feel closer instantly.
10. Share Responsibilities
Not taking on responsibilities equally can create tension and distance in a relationship. If one of you feels overwhelmed or underappreciated, share your thoughts and reassess how tasks are divided. Work together to create a more balanced approach to household chores, finances, and parenting. When both partners feel like they’re contributing equally, it strengthens your partnership and reduces the risk of resentment.
11. Focus on the Positives
It’s easy to fall into the trap of focusing on what’s wrong in your relationship, but this fuels distance. Instead, make a conscious effort to focus on what’s going well. Celebrate your successes, express gratitude, and remind each other of the strengths of your relationship. A positive outlook can bring you closer and help you navigate challenges together.
12. Rekindle Your Romance
If it’s been a while since you last did something romantic for your partner, now’s the time to rekindle that romance. Plan a fun date, write a love letter, or tell them how much they mean to you. Romance doesn’t have to fade. It requires a little effort to keep it alive. By nurturing the romantic aspect of your relationship, you’ll strengthen your emotional connection and keep the flame alive.
13. Practice Active Listening
Active listening is the foundation for a healthy conversation. It’s not just about hearing words—it’s about truly understanding what your spouse is saying and making them feel seen and heard. This means putting down your phone, making eye contact, processing what they say, and responding thoughtfully. When your spouse feels listened to and understood, it builds trust and deepens your connection.
14. Be Present
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to be physically present but mentally absent. If you’re constantly distracted by your phone, work, or other obligations, unplug and commit to being more present with your spouse. Focus on the moment, engage in meaningful conversations, and enjoy each other’s company without distractions. Being fully present is one of the most powerful ways to bridge emotional distance.
15. Don’t Forget the Small Gestures
Sometimes, it’s the small things that make a big difference. Simple gestures like making your spouse coffee in the morning, complimenting them, or leaving a loving note can go a long way in strengthening your relationship. These daily acts of kindness show your spouse that you love and care for them and will bring you closer together.
