My boyfriend and I used to be like two peas in a pod, but then out of nowhere, we stopped seeing eye-to-eye. I was changing and he couldn’t keep up and now we’ve completely fallen out of love.
- I’m not sure what even caused the love to die. Nothing specific happened to trigger it; it was a slow burn-out where we kinda just stopped interacting with each other the way we usually do. Maybe it’s the kind of thing that inevitably happens after five years, or maybe we’re just not meant to be together long-term.
- It’s my longest relationship, so I’m not sure if this is just something that happens. I don’t really have anything to compare this to because I’ve never been with someone for longer than five years. I really thought this was going to go somewhere, but we seem to have lost the spark and I don’t know how to get it back (or if it’s even possible).
- This isn’t just a rut. I don’t think this is the kind of thing that can be solved with a romantic getaway or trying something new in bed. When you can’t even stand the sound of your partner’s voice anymore, something’s seriously wrong. Maybe it’s time for me to completely re-think this relationship.
- Every little thing about him has started to bother me. All of a sudden, things that I used to think were cute are now incredibly annoying. I can’t stand the way he sings in the shower or how he’s constantly cutting himself shaving. It’s not cute anymore, it’s just obnoxious. When did this happen?
- I started to feel isolated in my relationship. When these angry, resentful feelings started popping up, they kinda coincided with feelings of loneliness, isolation, and being misunderstood. There’s nothing people want more than to be understood by those who are close to them and for some reason, I started feeling like he just doesn’t get me and I’m not inclined to wait for him to catch up.
- Maybe we’re just growing apart. When I explained this phenomenon to my friends, they said, “Oh, you’re just growing apart,” which I kind of agree with. The thing is, we were so close for the last five years—we were inseparable and I never doubted him for a minute. Now, I see him in a totally different light.
- Maybe it’s just me? It can’t possibly be his fault because he didn’t do anything to hurt me. I have a feeling that this is a monster of my own creation. I mean, I’m not above thinking that maybe I’ve changed my attitude about relationships or even about life in general and that’s why I’m suddenly resenting my partner out of nowhere.
- We don’t make up anymore. We used to fight a lot, but those fights would always end in some kind of make-up situation. Not anymore—the disagreements are just lingering and not getting solved.
- I just can’t tolerate him anymore. I hit a breaking point recently and now if he makes one little mistake, I completely lose my marbles. It’s like I don’t have the capacity to love and trust him anymore. What the hell?
- Maybe I’ve just gotten bored. I hope this isn’t the only reason why I feel this way, but I’m really bad with giving up on things just because I’m bored. That’s actually why this is my first long-term relationship. I would always dump people when I have the desire for something new and exciting. I’ve been through a million jobs and a million apartments just because I get bored, so why would it be any different with my relationships?
- It suddenly feels like we have nothing in common. It’s funny what five years can do. We started out the relationship thinking we had so much in common. I excused the things that I just couldn’t relate to, like the fact that he listens to house music on full blast and likes working out at midnight. I thought these things were just interesting quirks. But now all of those things are just annoying to me and I can’t believe I pretended I had those things in common with him.
- I think it’s time to cut the cord. I don’t think I can fix this because I wouldn’t even know where to start. I can’t pinpoint a few things that aren’t working for me because it feels like everything is wrong. I’ve changed, he’s stayed the same, and there’s no point forcing someone to match you at your level. It’s better to just let them go.
