I’m A Female Entrepreneur & So Many Guys Are Threatened By My Success

I’m proud of the fact that I’m almost at the top of the ladder in my chosen field, but it does come with a major downside when it comes to dating. I’m not willing to give up my career so a guy will call me back, but I’m also getting kinda fed up with the way most of them are reacting to my success.

  1. Once they find out I travel for work, they get weird. For some reason, the idea of traveling for business seems really glamorous, but little do they know I’m not making any extra money when I do it. I actually end up losing money! Many guys feel like they couldn’t possibly compete with a girl who’s jet-setting around the world on a daily basis and assume I’m rolling in dough. That’s definitely not the case.
  2. My job does sound really cool, I guess. Being a writer is often seen as really chic and exciting but it’s actually not. I’m spending hours in front of the computer and no one even knows who I am! A lot of guys get a little scared when they find out your job is “cooler” or more honorable than theirs. It’s not my fault that they drive a cement truck or whatever.
  3. It’s like they feel like they have to compete with me. During my first dates with these guys, they seem totally excited, but then as we get talking, it slowly starts to turn into a competition. It starts being all about who’s accomplished more and whose job is more important. I’m not intimidated by their accomplishments, I’m actually just straight up impressed. The guys, on the other hand, often seem to get insecure about it.
  4. Guys say they want a smart, successful woman, but in my experience, that’s a lie. It wasn’t until I experienced success in my career that I started to get these vibes from the guys I went out with. They just get intimidated and then tell you they’re not looking for a girlfriend right now after all. It happens every single time like clockwork.
  5. I’ve had guys say that I’m “above them” and that’s why they can’t be with me. I had someone break up with me once because he thought I was better than him. What the hell? Guys today really need to get over their egos and just accept that women are allowed to be great too.
  6. They think they need to be the providers. There seems to be a mechanism ingrained in most guys’ brains that tells them they need to be the providers in the relationship, even though there are so many couples out there now who share the load equally (and that’s how it should be). The second they hear about my super cool job, they’re like, well, this isn’t gonna work.
  7. I have a hard time dating guys who don’t have their career figured out. It seems that the only guys who are interested in me are the really rich ones or the workaholics, but I don’t want to be with those guys because they’re really douchey. It’s so annoying.
  8. I’m young, so the dating pool is small. I’m only 28, so it’s kinda hard to find a guy who’s totally confident in his career and has “reached the top,” so to speak. I’m only getting bites from the older, richer guys and that’s not who I’m interested in.
  9. I’m always told that I’m “wifey-material” but these dudes still don’t want to date me. Guys consider me the end goal, the total package, the girl who knows what she wants and is making a difference in the world. What I didn’t anticipate was how many guys are actually scared off by that. Maybe they’re not ready to handle me, and that’s fine I guess, but it also kinda sucks considering that I don’t feel that way about them.
  10. It’s like they don’t like it when women are sure of themselves. Most guys like to be the one to solve our problems and be the providers. They’ll never admit this, but a lot of them like a damsel in distress. There’s a reason that’s been such a common archetype. I’ve discovered that they really don’t like it when girls do things for themselves and have their lives all figured out. I even had a guy friend say to me once that I’ll “scare guys away” if I’m too sure of myself. So much for girl power.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.