I couldn’t decide whether or not I liked this guy for a long time. He seemed nice enough but after one too many bad dating experiences, I was on the fence when it came to figuring out my feelings and his worth. Here’s what he did to convince me he deserved a shot.
- He actually called when he said he would. A lot of guys make the promise to call and never follow through. Some of them leave the conversation open-ended, simply saying “we’ll talk soon” so I don’t have a definite idea as to when and can’t complain if it takes a few days. This guy told me he’d call me after work and then he did. It was such a relief! Granted, there were times that life got in the way, but because of how much I was able to trust what he said, I didn’t feel needy if I decided to pick up the phone and call him instead.
- He tried to cheer me up after a rather rough day. After a really awful week at work and multiple complaints to my guy about how exhausted I was, I thought for sure he was sick of hearing me whine. I tried to table all of my work talk, but one day I’d just had enough. I couldn’t help but tell him it had been such a horrible day and I really wasn’t up to doing much. He took initiative and did everything he could to cater to what I needed so that I could laugh my stressful day away.
- He complimented something that meant the world to me but most had brushed off. At the time, I had a love of knitting even though I wasn’t very good at it. It was just something silly I enjoyed doing, but after finishing a rather extensive project, this guy was over the moon proud of me. He said he knew I’d been frustrated and when I finally finished it, he was really happy for me. I didn’t even realize it was worth mentioning but he certainly made me feel good about something others, including myself, had barely noticed.
- He celebrated little things I accomplished. In addition to making me feel really good about a simple hobby like knitting, he also chose to celebrate silly milestones with me just because. He reminded me that even little things should be celebrated and that made doing those things a lot more fun. I did the same with him and it became our own private ritual.
- He encouraged me to be involved with my family. I love my family dearly but I think most can agree that sometimes dealing with them can be stressful. My boyfriend was really close with his family and he often asked if we could go and visit mine or invite them over. He knew there wasn’t any bad blood, I was just lazy and didn’t think to make the effort. He reminded me how important family is because they’re always there for you and it’s a worthy investment. I needed that encouragement and I have him to thank because I see my family a lot more now than I did before.
- He defended my honor. Once, while out in mixed company, he actively stood up for me when a mutual friend of ours commented on something negative about me thinking I’d left the room. I saw the whole thing go down and stood there as my boyfriend advised it wasn’t kind to be saying things like that to people we all knew. It was simple and concise but really showed me that he was a standup guy.
- He compromised. I’ll always say that after trust, compromising might be the most important factor I look for in a relationship. I tend to easily bend to make the other person happy but I know I shouldn’t. This guy was really flexible but also made valid points if something needed to go his way. He talked to me like an equal. He listened to me and this was probably the first time I had that kind of discretion in a relationship. He definitely wanted to be sure my needs were met.
- He stood up for himself. Every couple fights and we definitely had our share, but it wasn’t until I was able to see his self-confidence that I really knew this was a good person. Just like he had a knack for compromising, he also had the ability to make his needs known as well. I started to see him as someone who put himself first in a non-selfish way. He needed to be sure he was good with himself in order to be there for me and that made a world of difference in how we handled our disagreements.
- He wasn’t afraid to call me out when I was being ridiculous. He knew when to let me have my moments but he also knew when it was time for me to grow up and be an adult. He wasn’t aggressive about it at all, but he made sure he was honest when something I was upset about didn’t deserve that kind of attention. It took me awhile to not see this as a negative trait and I began realizing that I was growing. He made me want to be the best version of myself I could be.