Few Things Hurt More Than When He Finds “The One” After He Found You

Breakups feel terrible enough without knowing that your ex rebounded pretty much immediately with the woman of his dreams. Not only are you already heartbroken, now you feel betrayed. How could he find love again so quickly? Even worse, how could he find his soulmate right after losing you? Here’s why it’s so difficult:

  1. It breaks your heart that he moved on so quickly. You were left to process your pain while he either buried it or didn’t feel it at all. He’s happy with another woman and you still have trouble getting up in the morning. It feels completely unfair. How can he be in love with someone else after he told you it would take him forever to get over you and that he’d always love you? It’s like he’s breaking your heart twice over.
  2. You wonder why he does everything for her that he wouldn’t do for you. You never pushed him or nagged him to do certain things, but he knew that they bugged you. You were cool about it. You were tolerant because you loved him. Then he left you and met her and suddenly he’s doing everything you always wanted without being asked… but he’s doing it for someone else. It’s infuriatingly bewildering.
  3. You feel inadequate. You’re no slouch, but his new love sounds like Superwoman. You don’t know her but she seems so perfect. Of course, no one is, but it doesn’t help to think that way. You still feel like you must not measure up somehow because if you did, how would he have forgotten you and moved on to her so easily? You drive yourself crazy thinking about it.
  4. You resent him for all the ways he let you down. You tried so hard to make things work between you but you couldn’t control him and he just kept on disappointing you. Then he left you and up and found his perfect mate right away. The hits just keep on coming. You were a great girlfriend, but apparently not good enough for him to try harder!
  5. You bent over backward and it didn’t matter. Neither of you were perfect but you did your best. You loved him so much and you would’ve done anything to make him happy. It feels terrible to know that you just weren’t the right person to do so and that he’s already happier with a new woman than he was with you.
  6. Everything comes so easily for the two of them. Their relationship is a breeze compared to what yours was. How is that possible? It’s maddening! Somehow she’s not bothered by everything that was an issue for you. He’s super happy and comfortable with her already and the dust hasn’t even settled on your breakup yet. You don’t understand what’s so different.
  7. You’re left picking up the pieces of your heart while he happily moves on. It’s the ultimate insult. You’re not over him at all and he’s already practically married to a new girl. When this happens, it’s very hard not to hate the guy. You’re still pining for him and he’s moved along and committed to someone else super fast. In fact, he’s already more serious with her than he ever was with you.
  8. He feels guilty, but only because you’re sad and he’s not. Maybe he still responds when you reach out to him or maybe he even tries to check in to see how you’re doing. It’s not because he still loves you, though he may care about you as a person… or at least think he does. It’s because he knows he hurt you deeply and he feels guilty for his own happiness. If he really cared, he would do you the courtesy of letting you mourn in peace.
  9. It’s like you prepped him to be the perfect boyfriend for someone else. He had hardly any relationship skills before he dated you. You taught him so much about how to improve and grow in a relationship, and as soon as he figured it all out, he left you. Now he’s using his new knowledge on some other girl who gets to benefit from all your struggles and tears.
  10. He was happy to get serious with her when he resisted it with you. You never doubted that he cared about you, but he was always reluctant to take the next step. He never talked about the two of you living together or your potential future. It was always vague. He’s not like that with her. He’s practically married to her before you’ve even thought about looking at another guy.
  11. You don’t understand what she has that you don’t. You don’t know her, of course, but what could it really be? You know him up and down, in and out. You loved him more than you thought you could ever love anyone. How could he walk away from that and get so serious with a new person that quickly? It hurts your heart. You try and try to figure it out and you just can’t.
  12. You know it’ll always sting until you find the guy who’s right for you. Until you find the guy who shows you why it didn’t work out with your ex, you’ll always love and miss him a little. You’ll always wonder why he decided to pick her and why it was so much easier for them. You’ll understand someday, when you find your own person, but until then you just have to keep looking forward and try to let go of the past.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.