The New ‘Fifty Shades’ Movie Will NOT Be Hot—If You Want To Be Turned On, Watch These 10 Movies Instead

If you died a little inside when you saw that yet another 50 Shades movie is on its way to theaters, you’re not alone. And if you’re as baffled as the rest of us about how a movie series about bondage and fetishism can be so traditional and not at all hot, it’s probably time to save that movie ticket money and watch something with a little more heat. Here are 10 movies that are guaranteed to get you exactly where 50 Shades won’t.

Vicky Christina Barcelona 

What could be hotter than a threesome between Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johanssen and Javier Bardem in Spain in the summertime? Not much, to be honest. Plus gorgeous clothes, incredible food, breathtaking views, and, well, lots and lots of steamy Spanish sex. This movie basically hits all the senses in all the right places.

Pride and Prejudice

 Whoever thinks Jane Austen is old fashioned and virtuous needs to get their hands on this movie as soon as possible because if you haven’t seen Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen make out in a field at sunrise, you have not lived. Just a word of warning: this movie will ruin your romantic relationships for life because once you’ve seen chemistry like this, no one will ever be able to meet your standards again.

Only Lovers Left Alive

 This is the sometimes blood-drenched, 90’s grunge vampire romance of your dreams. Dark and dripping with sex from every frame, this movie features Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton as centuries-old vampire lovers living in the abandoned cityscape of Detroit, surrounded by gritty, dreamlike rock ‘n roll and some truly stunning Courtney Love-worthy hair. This will probably be the sexiest, most mesmerizing movie you see all year.

The Boy Next Door

 Who could resist this steamiest of all steamy J.Lo thriller featuring a rarely clothed Robert Guzman as her mysterious neighbor who is hot AF and totally down to help her get over her cheating husband? He also might be trying to kill her, but that’s just a technicality.

Silver Linings Playbook

 It’s no secret that Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence’s onscreen chemistry could melt an iceberg, but if you haven’t seen this movie, do yourself a favor and watch it ASAP. There’s absolutely nothing on this earth hotter than the two of them screaming at each other and then dancing the salsa. No matter how cold it is outside, you’ll leave this movie sweating—and you’ll probably sign up for some Latin dancing classes as well.

Crazy Stupid Love

 Speaking of chemistry, can we talk about Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling? There’s a scene in this movie where Emma Stone’s character finally fulfills her wish of doing the Dirty Dancing leap (you know the one) and it’s the sexiest, most romantic moment you’ll ever see. Apart from when they actually have sex, which isn’t exactly hard on the eyes.

Sleeping With Other People

 If you’re a cynic with a secret mushy side who’s a total oversharer on all things sex-related, this movie was tailor-made for you. Allison Brie and Jason Sudeikis are basically the world’s worst kind of millennial daters—she cheats on everyone and he’s always sleeping with at least three girls at once. They become BFFs and confide all of their dirtiest secrets in each other. Naturally, they end up falling for each other, and it’s just as hot you’d think.

Beyond The Lights

 I wish I could convey to you how inhumanly gorgeous Gugu Mbatha-Raw is, but you’ll just have to see for yourself. In this movie, she plays a rising pop star who struggles with newfound fame until she meets…guess who? A ridiculously sexy cop played by Nate Parker, who brings her right back down to earth. It may sound like the perfect comedy set up, but it’s actually a very emotional drama, and Nate Parker’s six pack is no laughing matter. Some of the sex scenes in this movie have so much chemistry that it actually feels like you should be wearing protective eyewear, it’s so hot.

Friends With Benefits

 If you’re a rom-com kinda girl, allow me to steer you in the direction of this classic-in-the-making starring Mila Kunis and the definition of charm himself, Justin Timberlake. I think we can all agree that guys don’t put women’s pleasure first nearly enough, so here’s to Mila Kunis’s insane screams of pleasure when Justin Timberlake goes down on her for making it absolutely clear that guys need to do this more often. Amen.

Magic Mike 

I mean come on, Channing Tatum as a shirtless carpenter and male stripper who’s hot AF and just wants to make women’s fantasies come true and also fall in love? What’s not to like? And if that isn’t good enough for you, there’s Matthew McConaughey as an OG male stripper, which is basically the greatest piece of casting ever, end of story. Oh, and there’s also Alex Pettyfer and Matt Bomer dancing and wearing basically nothing. The amount of eye candy will give you a sugar high for a month.

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