If You’re Fighting About These Things Early On, It’s Doomed

In a new relationship, you might be guilty of ignoring some serious red flags. Sure, you’re still getting to know one another, but if you’re already fighting about these 11 things so early on, that probably means things aren’t going to work out.

  1. What your relationship is If you can’t agree on what you are to each other, you can pretty much bet the relationship (or “situationship”) isn’t going to work. Maybe you both agree you’re boyfriend and girlfriend but he can’t seem to introduce you as such (or vice versa). A relationship can’t flourish without two people who feel and speak confidently about it.
  2. How he spends his free time If you hate that he spends his free time playing video games or hunting, you probably hate who he is as a person. It’s not cool if he’s canceling plans to play Mario Cart, but if you just don’t like his hobbies and interests, you really have no business dating him.
  3. The lack of trust I know trust has to be earned but going into a relationship without a certain level of faith is going to make things messy as hell. Even if you’ve been cheated on in the past, you can’t carry that into this relationship. That might be easier said than done but it’s true if you want your relationship to actually survive and thrive.
  4. Your sex life I’m not saying you shouldn’t be discussing sex at the beginning of a relationship but you probably shouldn’t be fighting about it at this point. I mean, his penis is his penis. If you’re already pissed off enough to be fighting with him about the way he pushes, thrusts and handles his manhood, the relationship is doomed.
  5. Your fighting habits There’s nothing wrong with having a couple of arguments here and there in the early stages of a relationship, but if you fight about how you fight, that probably means one of you uses criticism or contempt to deal with problems. Maybe you inadvertently put him down or he makes you feel inferior when you do something wrong. If you don’t have the same love language, the relationship will likely never flourish.
  6. The way he looks Odds are, you’re not that attracted to him if you’re already trying to change the way he looks. You should at least be a few months into the relationship before you start complaining about his haircut and obsession with jeans that don’t fit. If you have to pick his clothes out for him in order to be turned on, he’s not for you!
  7. How to spend the weekend It’s not a good sign if you constantly argue over what movie to see and what restaurant to eat at. That means you’re both very different people who refuse to compromise for the other. If the relationship isn’t toxic already, it’s bound to go up in flames sooner than later.
  8. His lack of interest in your life Does he know what you do for work? Unless you have a super complicated title that can only be said in another language, he should know what you do for eight hours a day. Not only that, he should know how you found your career, what made you go for it, and how passionate you are about it.
  9. His friends His friends are his friends and guess what? They’re not going anywhere—and to be honest, they shouldn’t. Unless one of them is a murderer or he’s besties with his ex-girlfriend of five years, there’s no reason you should be fighting with him on who he likes to spend his time with.
  10. His lack of listening skills If he doesn’t listen, that probably means he’s not very interested in growing the relationship. If he was, he’d pay attention to you. Why? Because he’d want to get to know you! He’d want to hear your stance on certain values and whether or not you think Jussie Smollett is innocent or guilty. If he doesn’t listen to you now, he’s probably never going to start.
  11. His inconsistency He doesn’t call when he says he will and he has a hard time seeing plans through. These aren’t good signs, period, but especially not at the beginning of a relationship. He should be on his best behavior, which means he should be consistent. Canceling plans and forgetting to call you a month into a relationship are pretty clear signs you aren’t going to make it.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.