I Filed For Divorce The Day After My Wedding And I’ve Never Looked Back

I’d been with Todd* for about two years when he proposed. Our relationship wasn’t without its issues, but they seemed relatively minor and definitely not unfixable, so I said yes. We planned the wedding pretty quickly, within about three months, and I was really excited to become his wife. I thought I’d found a really good guy, and at 28, those seemed exceedingly rare. Sadly, I ended up filing for divorce only a day after saying “I do” when I realized he was never going to be the kind of husband I was looking for.

  1. The wedding went smoothly. We had a somewhat small ceremony with about 40 of our closest friends and family members. His best man was his closest childhood friend and he had two groomsmen — two buddies from college that he’d stayed in touch with ever since and saw pretty regularly. My sister was my maid of honor and my two best friends were my bridesmaids. We kept it simple, everyone got along well on the day, and it was actually a really beautiful occasion. It’s exactly the kind of wedding I’d always envisaged, and me and my new husband were on cloud nine.
  2. Celebrating our love with the people we loved was incredible. The reception was held in this amazing little venue in our hometown, complete with DJ, an open bar, and some great food. It seemed like everyone had a great time, dancing, laughing, taking pics for Instagram, and just partying. Todd and I mingled with everyone and spent most of the night in a complete daze of happiness. It felt so surreal that we were actually married that I can’t actually put it into words.
  3. It was an extremely long day. By about 10:30 p.m., I was flagging. The party was still going strong, but everyone recognized that it was about time for the bride and groom to head off to celebrate our wedding day privately as a couple. We left the party going strong — my mom was gracious enough to handle closing things down for the evening — and headed to our fancy suite at a local hotel that we’d rented for the night despite living just around the corner. You can’t just go home on your wedding night, right? By the time we unlocked the door and sat down for a minute, I was exhausted. I figured Todd must have been too after such a long day, but I guess not.
  4. Todd didn’t want the party to end. While I expected him to be totally into my idea of the perfect end to the evening — ordering some room service since neither of us had eaten much of the food we’d gotten catered at the reception, watching some TV, and having a nice cuddle before passing out — he actually wasn’t. I wondered if maybe it was because he wanted to have sex but thought surely he would understand that I’d been up since 4 a.m. and the last thing I felt tonight was sexy. Turns out, he wasn’t even interested in that. He said he was “totally wired” and thought he might go down and meet up with his boys again. He didn’t expect me to join him. In fact, he totally understood that I was super tired and I should go to bed.
  5. He left me alone on our wedding night. At first I thought he must have been joking about going back out to meet up with his friends, so I played along. I told him to behave and not to get into any trouble and that I’d just run a bath and watch some Real Housewives like I did on any other night. However, he actually wasn’t joking. A few minutes later, he kissed me on the head, wished me a “happy wedding day,” and left the hotel room to go meet up with the guys. I was gobsmacked.
  6. He didn’t come back until after 4 a.m. Not only did my brand new husband leave me alone on our actual wedding night, he had the audacity to stay out drinking and doing god knows what with his friends until four in the morning. During that time, he didn’t text, call, or offer any updates on what he was doing and when he’d be back. I was literally so exhausted but I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so furious. Who leaves his new wife alone in a honeymoon suite on their wedding night? Was he for real?
  7. I filed for divorce the next day. I know it sounds extreme, but hear me out. I had many hours to think about this, but I didn’t actually need much time to decide that this was never going to work. I want a partner who respects me, one who loves being with me no matter what we’re doing. The fact that Todd would rather have spent all night partying with his friends, something he could do literally any other night of the years, than cuddling up with his brand new wife only hours after saying “I do” proved to me that he wasn’t as invested in me or our relationship as he should have been. I’m only sorry it took me so long to realize it.

 

 

 

 

 

* Not his real name

Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.
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