I’m Finally Dating Someone Mature & Functional And Everything’s Different

I think it’s actually happened—I found a good one! He’s everything I always knew I wanted in a partner but wasn’t sure existed. I still hardly believe he’s real. Here’s what makes him stand out from the rest:

  1. He’s super chill. I had no idea how to take him at first. I’m so used to being ghosted that I didn’t understand when he waited for my schedule to ease up so he could spend time with me. Now I get it—he’s seriously that relaxed.
  2. He’s proactive. He stood out because he wasted no time setting up our first date, and he actually kept those plans. He told me he wanted to go out again before that date even ended. His proactive attitude is sexy as hell, and he’s kept it up ever since.
  3. He sticks to his commitments. If he tells me he’s going to see me, it happens. He doesn’t back out or reschedule. He’s devoted to making time for me. It sounds simple, but compared with the flaky guys in my past, it’s mind-blowing.
  4. He’s openly affectionate. I cannot express how wonderful it is to date a man who’s not afraid to show his feelings. I’ve always been a very honest and loving person, but I tend to hold back because guys freak out about it. Now I can be myself and it feels amazing.
  5. He’s patient. Initially, I thought it was bad timing to start a relationship because we both had a lot going on in the first few weeks of dating. It turns out that all this chaos was a lovely way to learn that he has no intention of running away just because life isn’t always convenient.
  6. He’s honest. There are no games where he’s concerned. It’s incredibly refreshing—I’ve always hated dating because no one is forthcoming about where they stand. I know that when he tells me something, good or bad, at least it’s the truth.
  7. He’s confident. I never realized what a large role insecurity plays in crappy dating until I began seeing someone who’s secure in who he is. He’s not cocky, though—there’s a huge difference. He knows himself and because of that, he’s able to open up to me.
  8. He’s sweet. I’ve always liked nice guys, but it’s not often that I meet someone as genuinely considerate as this particular man. The quiet, subtle care and kindness he demonstrates towards me floors me every single time.
  9. He remembers the details. He cares enough to really listen to me and engage in conversation, so he has no problem recalling what I’ve told him. When we talk, hours feel like seconds—that’s how I know something real is happening here.
  10. He doesn’t make it all about the sexThe sex is amazing, but that’s not all that’s on his mind. So often everything else goes out the window when physical intimacy enters. I’ve found the rare unicorn who is absolutely OK if sex isn’t in the equation on every date.
  11. He’s genuine. Sometimes I still second-guess his intentions, but he continues to show me that he really does mean what he says and does. His authenticity takes the headaches and guesswork out of dating and makes it what it should always be: fun!
  12. He makes me a priority. I always felt like I came in second to the careers of the men I dated in the past. Somehow this guy manages to focus on his work and still make me feel special, prized, and recognized. It’s the perfect blend of exactly what I need.
  13. He understands balance. Life is complicated and we’re both busy. He’s clear about his desire to spend time with me while allowing me to live my own life. As an independent person who still wants a committed relationship, I’m very appreciative.
  14. He treats me like an equal. I am his equal, of course, but sadly in this day and age, it’s still special for a man to consider himself feminist. I always wanted one and now I have one! He’s actually attracted to my strength and my sass.
  15. He respects me. I never question for a second that he sees me as an intelligent, capable person completely worthy of his regard. He also respects other humans and the world around him, and that’s incredibly important to me.
  16. He doesn’t try to hide me. I’m not used to dating in a small town, but he is, and he’s not shy about taking me out in public and showing affection. That’s a big deal for someone who grew up here and knows a lot of people in town.
  17. He’s not afraid to dive in. He likes me and he tells me so frequently. He’s not over the top or so intense that it feels false, but he’s definitely staking his claim… and I like it.
  18. He relishes getting to know me. I have no doubt that he likes me for me. I’ve definitely shown him a lot of my darkness already and it doesn’t phase him a bit. He understands that it’s a facet of who I am and he accepts it.
  19. He’s a truly lovely human. I don’t know that I’ve ever dated someone who I so genuinely enjoy, admire and respect. I’m incredibly attracted to his energy and his personality, and I’m excited for what lies ahead.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.