I’ve Finally Figured Out How To Be ‘Cool’ In The Eyes Of Guys

I spent years trying to figure out how to get guys to like me. I always went out of my way to be super attentive, affectionate, and attractive, with varying levels of success. At the end of the day, though, nothing ever lasted. Well, you know what they say — it it’s broke, fix it (or something like that). After a lot of introspection and analyzation, I think I’ve finally found out how to be “cool” in the eyes of guys. Luckily for you, I’m happy to share the answers. Here are the rules you need to follow.

  1. Act like you don’t care about them. Playing hard to get is annoying and immature, but so many men really seem to like it still. If you show you’re interested and pursue them, they get turned off and lose interest pretty quickly. If, however, you remain aloof and pretty much ignore them, this seems to ignite an intense passion in them unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You suddenly become the “cool girl” in their eyes and they’re desperate to get close to you.
  2. Don’t expect anything from them. If you want to know how to be cool, this is vital. Even when you’re supposedly dating and working towards a relationship, keep your expectations low. In fact, keep them non-existent. They don’t want their freedom imposed upon or to feel “smothered,” which is inevitably what happens if you set any kind of standards.
  3. Laugh at their misogynistic jokes instead of getting offended. If they make disgusting jokes about women being dumb/slutty/annoying/incapable, don’t criticize them for it. You’re likely being “too sensitive” and clearly don’t have a sense of humor. Are you trying to bring the mood down? Geez, lighten up. A cool girl would know that it’s “just a joke” and laugh at it instead of getting all up in arms.
  4. Want to have sex all the time, but not too soon and only on their terms. Is there anything cooler to guys than a woman who’s basically a living sex doll? She’s always ready and willing whenever he gets horny, no questions ask. However, you shouldn’t be too sexual or want it more than him, because that’s just not attractive. Of course, you shouldn’t be a dead fish who just lays there in bed, but you also shouldn’t also don’t want to seem too experienced or in charge. It’s a fine balance.
  5. Don’t get upset when they ignore you for days on end. If they go AWOL to the point that you’re starting to think you’ve been ghosted, don’t freak out. When they come back a few days later, accept it. Don’t question where they’ve been or say you were worried or upset. That’s just not cool! Welcome them back without reservation and just roll with it. That’s all you need to do.
  6. Always be available when they want you but don’t ask for the same. When they want to hang out and you’re busy, quietly cancel your plans to be available for them or they’ll be pissed off. Even if they ignored you for the past week and only just turned up again, so what? If you want to be cool, you should always be at their beck and call. However, don’t get a ‘tude if they’re not willing to do the same. It just doesn’t work that way.
  7. Don’t get jealous or possessive even when they flirt with other women right in front of your face. You’re dating, maybe exclusively. But, while you’re out at the bar one night, you notice them chatting up other women. They’re making inappropriate comments that no one who’s not 100% single should be making. Yeah, and? The cool girl knows not to get jealous or call them on this. Just let them do what they want, c’mon!
  8. Praise them excessively for doing basic tasks. So, they took out the trash or made dinner instead of ordering UberEats for the sixth time this week? That deserves a blue ribbon! Tell them how amazing they are. Applaud them for completing basic tasks that any adult does on a daily basis. Make guys feel special and accomplished and stroke their ego.
  9. Be devoted to them even if they’re not doing the same. Once you start dating them or even casually talking on more than a platonic basis, that’s it. Your head should not be turned elsewhere, you shouldn’t explore any other options. Even if they’re still talking to other women, your eyes should be planted firmly on them. It’s so cool when a woman can act like a man is the only one on earth. Just be sure not to show too much direct interest, or you’ll mess the whole thing up!
  10. Don’t try too hard to be cool. Guys can tell when you’re trying too hard and they really won’t like it. Everything you do on this list should come across as effortless and totally carefree. You don’t want to be written off as “too emotional” or “crazy,” God forbid. If you manage to remain passive and undemanding, they’ll be putty in your hands. See how simple it is?
Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.