Why Finally Finding A Good Guy Freaks Us The Hell Out

Why Finally Finding A Good Guy Freaks Us The Hell Out ©iStock/sanjeri

Good men are hard to find, but they’re even harder to date. We know how to deal with losers, but decent men who treat us the way we deserve? They’re complete mysteries. That’s why finding a good guy can make us so uncomfortable.

  1. It’s all new to us. We’re not used to morning texts and gifts. We’re used to unanswered texts and ghosting. Since we’ve never been lucky enough to meet a good guy before, we need some time to adjust to this whole new world.
  2. We’re worried it’s an act. Everyone we’ve dated has been an loser at heart, so we’re waiting for this so-called “good guy” to drop the act and reveal that he’s just like every other player. We’ve been screwed over too many times. We need to be careful.
  3. We really want it to work. We’ve never been the type to obsess over a man. But now that we’ve found a good guy, it’s hard not to love him. Strong feelings like that make us uncomfortable, because we’ve never dealt with them before.
  4. Breaking up would hurt so much more. When our exes cheated on us, we were able to handle it, because it was expected. But if a good guy ended up hurting us, we’d never recover, because we’d never see it coming.
  5. We wonder why we’re the lucky ones. We have bombshell friends in bad relationships. Why are we the ones who get the good guy? We don’t know if we deserve it.
  6. It changes the dating game. We can’t play the mind games we’re used to playing, because they would never work on a good guy. They would only drive him away, and that’s the last thing we want.
  7. We have higher expectations for ourselves. We could treat our exes like crap without feeling bad, because that’s how they treated us. But dating a good guy means we’d have to be good girlfriends. We’d be held to a higher standard, and that’s pretty terrifying.
  8. We have more to lose. We don’t want to make any stupid mistakes that’ll push him away. Good guys don’t come around often, and we don’t want to ruin our big chance. We might never get it again.
  9. Our entire view on love changes. We thought every relationship involved mixed signals and manipulation. Finding out we were wrong makes us feel a little foolish. We can’t believe we were in the dark for so long.
  10. It’s the first time we’re taking a relationship seriously. We knew our old relationships would never lead anywhere. That’s why meeting a man that we can imagine a real future with is so scary. It’s the first time we’re taking the idea of marriage and moving in together seriously.
  11. It’s weird leaving the single life behind. We’re not going to miss the days of waiting for a text that would never come, but it’s still sad to close that chapter of our life. Single life is scary, but monogamy? It’s a whole new type of terrifying.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.