I’ve Finally Found “The One”—It’s Me!

It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you can’t be alone. There’s a lot of pressure to stay boo’d up lest you miss out on some major couple perks. It wasn’t until I committed to keeping my own company that I realized these 10 eye-opening things.

  1. I don’t let myself down. Relationships can be so fun at first. You both put your best foot forward and are cautious not to step on one another’s toes. The red flags may be there from the start, but you’re too busy trying to keep his attention and gain approval to even notice. Suddenly, you both get comfortable and things drastically change. You’ve invested all that time only to discover this is not the type of person you want to be with. With me, there are no surprises. I’m spared disappointment because my relationship with myself is constant.
  2. I don’t second guess my intentions. Some guys want to interrogate you too much while others just flirt or request pictures instead of getting to know you. It’s so confusing to figure out what they want even if you ask directly. What’s worse are the ones who lead you on just to end up abruptly ghosting or revealing salacious motives. I don’t have to wonder what I want from me. My relationship with myself is genuine and sincere.
  3. I don’t make myself wait. There are so many rules for dating. Are you allowed to double text? Who says “good morning” first? Is it OK to initiate date night planning or do you have to wait for him to bring it up? The list of shoulds and should nots is endless and exhausting. The time is always right when I’m living for me.
  4. I’m always available to myself. Have you ever gotten into a flow of talking to a guy every day then all of a sudden he’s missing for 48 hours without a trace? Even with friends, it can be a pain trying to coordinate work schedules and free time. But guess what? I’m always around for me. When I’m available to do something, I can go without cross-checking with someone else and constantly putting plans on hold.
  5. I share all my interests with myself. Relationships need give and take to work. That means you may find yourself somewhere you don’t want to be doing something you have little to no interest in doing all for the sake of love and consideration. You will never have this dilemma when you date yourself. You can indulge in all of your interests and invest time in what makes you truly feel alive. It feels amazing.
  6. I keep my own pace. It can be conflicting at times to decide what you even want from a relationship. If a guy comes on too strong, it seems like a big red flag telling you to run. If he takes things too slow, he seems disinterested or potentially shady. There is no confusion when you’re dealing with yourself. You can go out or stay in as much as you want. You can wear what you feel like without wondering what message it may be sending. You have complete freedom and control.
  7. I accept my baggage. Deciding what to put out there on a dating app profile can be so daunting. Is there such a thing as too much or too little information to share upfront? Is something about yourself currently or a part of your past an automatic deal breaker? You never have to worry about being disqualified from your own company. You’re not too good for you.
  8. I am forgiving and understanding of myself. It is impossible to always be your best self. We all go through bad moods or times when we need to disconnect. You never have to explain yourself to you. You know exactly what you need and why. You give yourself permission and grace to be uniquely you without apology.
  9. I speak my love language. Gifts and talk simply don’t do it for me—I’m all about the quality time. I need to know someone wants to be around me and is willing to take the necessary action to make that happen, which also happens to be what I’m willing to do for myself. I love a good ‘me day’ full of pampering and self-indulgence. I treat myself well and keep the best company.
  10. I’m not using myself for something. It seems like the more of a giver you are, the more people come around only to drain you. People can be quick to abuse kindness and enjoy the perks of your gifts and generosity. Your energy is safe with you. You pour into your own cup and expend resources at a pace that is comfortable to maintain your balance.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer