I Finally Got The Courage To Tell You It’s Over & It’s The Best Decision I’ve Ever Made

I Finally Got The Courage To Tell You It’s Over & It’s The Best Decision I’ve Ever Made

It took me a long time to realize the truth and even longer to tell you — trying to be the person you wanted me to be was killing me. Nothing terrible happened; there was no serious drama between us. One day, I just woke up and realized you weren’t what I wanted. It took everything I had, but I finally got the courage to tell you it’s over and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

  1. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. The person who I became with you wasn’t necessarily bad, I just didn’t recognize her. I used to be happy, lively and more outgoing. It seemed that those traits slowly dwindled away and I realized it was because you didn’t bring that out in me.
  2. Things weren’t progressing in the relationship. I constantly wondered where things would go next or if we would get to the next step at all. I worried about what would come of us and what all this really meant to you. I realized that things were never going to change. We were never going to reach that next step and I was wasting my time.
  3. I wasn’t living up to my potential. I didn’t feel the support and encouragement you usually do from someone who’s supposed to love you. I felt held back and limited, even if that wasn’t your intention. I know I have a lot more to offer and I was tired of not being able to pursue it. I suddenly understood that being on my own was a better use of my time.
  4. We didn’t have a strong connection. Staying on the same page was just always a struggle. We couldn’t get inside each other’s heads long enough to understand who the other was and how things would pan out for us. I felt anxious and lonely because we didn’t have each other’s backs when it was most important. Connection is just not something you can force, and I was tired of trying.
  5. I questioned who you were far too many times. Figuring out who you were was a constant battle. At first it was intriguing and challenging, but after a while it just became exhausting. I wanted to break down your walls and get the chance to be let inside your heart, but it just didn’t happen. I realized I would never know the real you.
  6. We just didn’t agree on anything. Silly conversations turned into arguments. We didn’t agree on much and it made us frurstrated and angry with one another. Making decisions was an issue and even the simple things were a problem. I realized we would never see eye to eye.
  7. You didn’t understand my motives. I had to explain myself, who I was and why I did the things I did to try to get you to understand. I felt like you didn’t know me at all and questioned who I was in return. We were just too different and there was no way around it.
  8. You tried to convince me everything was fine. Whenever I questioned the relationship, you always assured me that everything was fine. We discussed how I felt, you told me I was being paranoid and eventually I just moved on even though the problem never went away. The truth was that everything wasn’t fine and it all built up in the end. I know now to trust my own instincts more.
  9. You assured we could fix everything. Countless times you begged me to give you another chance so you could prove how good things could be for us, but it never happened. Something else always came up, something else always needed fixing. I realized it would always be an on-going repair.
  10. I didn’t see a future with you. Even though things didn’t fall apart dramatically with tears, screaming fights and too many regrets, I just didn’t see a future with you. It all added up in the end and I realized I just couldn’t do it anymore. I finally got the courage to tell you it was over and now life is looking a whole lot brighter.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love.