After a bout of bad luck, unemployment, and frequent depression naps, I finally got several kick-ass jobs, moved into a better apartment than I ever thought I could afford, and I’m truly living out my dreams. As ridiculously happy as all of this makes me, I’ve never felt more overwhelmed and stressed out in my life.
- I have too many projects going on at once. My jobs now entail a lot of research and writing work, assistant work, networking, and a whole lot of projects. It’s exactly the kind of work that I’ve always wanted to do, but I have so much on my plate. Trying to keep it all straight in my mind can get me feeling dizzy. Being able to prioritize and multitask is a must.
- I make my own hours, which means I’m constantly on the clock. I essentially have to make myself available to my boss at all times (which is especially fun when my boss literally doesn’t sleep—I’m not kidding). I get e-mails from him at all hours of the day and night. Gone are the days when I could leave my work at the door the second I clocked out. Even when I’m trying to have a little time away from working, all the projects that I have on hold at that moment are in the back of my mind, reminding me they’re still there and could be worked on.
- Time management is not my forte. Because I get to make my own hours, this means I also have to be a hard-ass on myself in order to get any work done. Setting a schedule for myself and sticking to it is a pretty hard feat, especially because I tend to get distracted easily. Being in charge of making my own time for work, fun, and self-care is hard, and spontaneity has pretty much gone out the window.
- I’m putting a ton of pressure on myself. Because I’m finally where I wanted to be in life for so long, the fear of screwing up is so intense it’s debilitating. On top of the already-existing pressure from my jobs, I’m putting an insane amount of pressure on myself to perform well at all my jobs. Self-doubt is a straight-up bitch, and because of the high standards I set for myself, she’s weaseled her way back into my head.
- There’s no definitive line between my work life and my personal life. Because a lot of my job is so intertwined with my everyday life, the line between work and personal life is totally blurred, if not erased completely. I do a lot of networking over cocktails, sending work e-mails during coffee dates, and spending my downtime brainstorming ideas pertaining to my jobs. Balance is key, but sometimes it’s inevitable for things to pool into each other without bounds.
- I’m scared that my personal relationships will suffer. I’ve admittedly got a pretty poppin’ social life. I have a lot of friends and not a lot of time to spend with them anymore. My friends mean the world to me and I worry about losing some because I can’t see them as frequently as I used to.
- It’s a dramatic shift in how I’m used to living my life. Even before I was unemployed, I worked a job that I didn’t really care about. Once work was done, it was out of my head until the next shift. I’m used to having a whole lot of free time, most of which was spent partying. Now that I’m so busy, I can’t go out day-drinking with my friends every day and spend my nights binge-watching Netflix. Truthfully, I’m used to living life pretty recklessly and irresponsibly. Those traits are no longer an option now that I have so much on my plate. It’s drastically changed how I live and because of that, it’s changed a lot about who I am as a person. Letting go of this lifestyle I’ve previously constructed for myself is strangely difficult, but the new life that’s now beginning to form will be far more rewarding and beneficial.
- It has me questioning my life path. I’m a very overanalytical and indecisive person. For this reason, making a concrete decision pertaining to where my life may be headed is terribly difficult. I know I’ve always loved writing, networking, and creative pursuits, but I feel like my mind is always being pulled in a million different directions when it comes to where I see myself in 10 years. Though I love my new jobs, I’m constantly obsessing over where they’re going to push me in the future. Do I want writing to be my occupation forever? Is there something else I’d enjoy more? Do I want to stay living in Milwaukee, and if not, where would I want to go? Actively working on living in the moment is something that I need to work on.
- My passion has become my occupation. They say that if you do what you love for a living, you’ll never have to work a day in your life. Realistically, it more so turns your life and your passion into constant work. It seems as though most everything I do is somehow dedicated to my craft and to my jobs. Do I wish I had a different job? Hell no. My days can leave me feeling like I’ve got a couple of those cartoon birdies spinning circles around my head, but I’m also happier than I’ve ever been too. I’m in a great life spot and I love what I do!