I Finally Met An Amazing Guy… And He’s Totally Wrong For Me

I never understood what it meant when people would say a guy was good “on paper” but I quickly figured it out after I met him. He has everything I could ever ask for and more and everything should be so blissful and perfect… but it’s not. Despite him being a total dream, things just aren’t clicking for us. He’s so right but so wrong at the same time. How is this possible?

His Patience Makes Me Ragey. He seriously has the patience of a saint. I can go off the rails, yell and scream, ignore his calls, and nothing I do seems to ruffle his feathers. He’ll patiently wait for me to reach out to him, and it seems like no matter what I do, he’s always there. I need someone who will argue things out with me—not in a dysfunctional way, but in a “we’re human and we all have emotions” kind of way.

I Desperately Need Butterflies. Don’t get it twisted, I love him, I really do, but I need to feel that spark inside of me. I need to feel butterflies whenever I receive a new text message from him. Instead, I just feel the type of comfort that’s more like complacency. That isn’t the way things should feel in a relationship—not this soon, and not ever.

We Get Along but He’s Not My BFF. I’m a true believer that your partner should be your BFF, your ride or die, your A-1, etc. You get the point, right? Well, he’s none of those things. We get along well, but would I rather stay in with him instead of going out with my girls? Not a chance in hell. This is how I know he’s totally wrong for me. I can’t help that I feel this way, and it really makes me feel like such a crappy person. Will things change down the road? Will I suddenly want him to be by my side 24/7? Sadly, I doubt it.

I Can’t Imagine Life Without Him Because He’s Always Here. As I sit here typing away, he’s right next to me. Yes, seriously. He could be anywhere in the world, but he’d much rather sit next to me on my tattered couch on a Saturday afternoon. Having his company is nice, but sometimes it gets to be a bit too much. I want to know what it’s like to be without him, but I can’t because he’s always here. Actually, he’s looking this way right now…

The Romance Is There, I’m Just Not Feeling It. On my birthday, he showers me with gifts. On holidays, he’ll bring me a decorative cookie. Even on Mother’s Day, he bought me a teddy bear… and I’m not even a mother yet! He’s so damn perfect and thoughtful. Any girl would love to have a guy like this in her life, so why the hell am I so miserable? The romance is off the charts, but I just can’t get into the groove of things with him.

He’s Just Enough but Not quite. Does that make Sense? I don’t want to settle for someone who has everything I want but his touch doesn’t light my vagina on fire. It’s the strangest thing. You see, he’s more than enough for me. I know this and I feel it in my heart, but at the same time, he’s just not enough in terms of what I need for a long-term relationship. How do you tell someone you love that they’re not enough for you? I just can’t bring myself to do it and it seriously sucks.

I Need More Passion and Excitement. The sex is alright, but most of the time it’s more hassle than it’s worth. I know you’re probably cringing right now, but let me explain. Have you ever shaved all over, put on a bunch of delicious smelling lotion, and threw on a sexy AF piece of lingerie… only to have sex with a guy and be completely disappointed by his performance (or lack thereof)? Sex isn’t everything but it’s really important to me when it comes to a relationship. I need to feel passion and excitement when I’m with my partner but every time we finish, I just feel completely unsatisfied. This is how I know he’s wrong for me.

The Way He Feels About Me Scares Me. I know he loves me way more than I love him and I don’t think it’s fair.  The way he looks at me, the way he holds me, the way he goes out of his way for me really scares me. I want to be able to feel the same way and do those same things for him but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Why am I feeling this way? Why can’t I love him the way he loves me?

He Makes Me Feel Safe but Sometimes I Need Danger. Sometimes, the safe option isn’t always the best option. I always wanted a partner who would never hurt me, never make me cry, and always have my back no matter what. He has all those traits and then some. I know that he would never break my heart, but sometimes I need to feel that I might lose him. I need to know that if I call him every name in the book, he might not return my calls for a week. I need to know that if I screw up, he’ll be out the door in a heartbeat. I need that fear of loss to be in the back of my mind at all times but it’s not. For this reason, I just can’t see how things between us will work out.

The Longer We Last, I Guiltier I Feel. I feel guilty as it is. However, the longer our relationship goes on, it just gets worse. I don’t want to let him go but I know I need to. He would make some other girl so happy but it’s so hard to walk away. I keep wondering if maybe he’ll grow on me. Maybe I’m just being an ass and I’ll snap out of it soon enough and fall deeply in love, but I can’t help but think I’m wasting his time. I know he’s not “The One” even though he’s so amazing. Am I a bitch for keeping him from finding true love?

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