He Finally Started To Appreciate Me After He Lost Me, But I’m No Longer Interested

We dated for two months and then he suddenly gave me some lame excuse about not wanting anything serious. I knew that meant he was rejecting me… for a while, anyway. Two months later, he started texting me again and asking me to take him back. He had another thing coming.

  1. He didn’t see what he had when he had me. I was good to the guy when we’d dated. I’d supported him and we had a great time together. There was definitely some serious chemistry between us, but he didn’t see any of that. If he had, he wouldn’t have left me. Then he expected me to take him back? What, in the hope that his eyes would work now so he’d see me clearly? Please.
  2. I only give my heart to those who look after it. A psychologist friend of mine told me a cool story to help when dating. She asked me, “If you had to give someone an organ, like one of your eyes, to take care of for a while, would you choose him to do it? If not, then why the hell would you give him your heart?” I wouldn’t trust this guy to look after any part of me, thank you very much, because I can’t trust him. He’d left before, so what was stopping him from leaving again?
  3. He missed out. Honestly, as hard as it was to walk away from this douchebag, it saved me time and prevented future pain. He was really the one who would experience regrets, not me. I was lucky enough to prevent my own regrets by not taking him back.
  4. People should only get one chanceI don’t believe in second chances. I’ve given them out before, but I’ve learned that people don’t change. One chance is more than enough for a man to see my value. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve a way back into my life.
  5. He was a giant red flag. There was just too much I didn’t trust about why he wanted me back. He could have just been bored, wanted something convenient, or been lonely AF because his other options fell through. All I saw in my mind when I thought of this guy were red flags. I felt too much uncertainty to take him back.
  6. I’m not a conquest. I’m not going to downgrade myself by allowing a man to come back into my life just so he can say he won me over. Who the hell does he think he is? I’m not a prize to be won; I’m an amazing woman who deserves to be valued from the very beginning.
  7. I felt stronger for choosing myself over him. In the past, I’d wasted too much time putting other people ahead of myself. I’d give men the benefit of the doubt, taken them back, tried to have faith in them… and then watched as they burned through my heart and life. No more! With this guy, it was time to choose my happiness over his, and it was the best thing I could’ve done.
  8. I saw in his eyes he was a waste of time. This guy pulled out all the stops to try to change my mind. I received loads of texts from him in which he told me how much he felt for me and how wrong he’d been, but maybe he just wanted what he couldn’t have. Where had he been a few months previously, when he’d had me right in front of him? Where were the declarations of love then?
  9. I don’t have patience for arrogance. I can’t help but see men who come back for a second chance after treating me badly as arrogant. They really think they can just do whatever they want and get what they want in the end. Um, excuse me, I’m not a puppet on a string. I’m a person with feelings and a big heart that has no room in it for a man’s big head.
  10. My love is rare. I’m not flattering myself here, but I’ve seen how many crappy people there are out there. I’m a great girlfriend and I know my worth. I give genuine love without games. I have to have high standards to protect the love I give out — it’s not for just anyone, and certainly not for someone who gave it away like it meant nothing the first time.
  11. I’m not desperate. Gosh, how desperate would I have to be to take the guy back after he walked out of my life? I’d rather eat glass than seem desperate for someone’s love. In the famous words of Beyoncé, “I can find another you in a minute.” That guy wasn’t anything special or worth waiting for. There are plenty of jackasses like him around.
  12. He didn’t “lose” me — he threw me out. He could talk about how he lost me or I was “the one who got away,” but honestly, he threw me out of his life. Plain and simple. He made the decision to turn his back on me and leave me. You can only lose what you have, and thankfully I was never his to begin with.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.