Texting Isn’t That Important, So Why Are We So Obsessed With It?

Texting Isn’t That Important, So Why Are We So Obsessed With It? ©iStock/Geber86

Texting is, without a doubt, one of the most annoying parts of dating. You spend so much time analyzing what to say, what not to say, and what he said and didn’t say that it’s enough to drive you insane. It’s hard to remember a time when finding love didn’t involve iPhones, but that definitely existed at some point. Texting matters so much less than you think, so why do we care so much about it?

  1. Texting can be petty. You figure you’ll wait an hour to respond to the new guy in your life because you don’t want to seem desperate (whatever that means). He then waits two hours to answer your text. And on and on it goes. Basically, texting as if you’re playing a game that you’re desperate to win is petty and immature. Don’t be that person.
  2. Texts can be deleted. If you put so much stock into what someone is texting you, chances are those messages will get accidentally deleted and you’ll feel pretty low. You want to keep all the sweet, borderline romantic texts your boyfriend or the guy you’re seeing has sent you, but you’ll feel pretty awful when you press “delete” without meaning to. Why do you care so much? Doesn’t he say those things to you in person, too? It’s so much better to focus on your real, face-to-face love.
  3. Texting means nothing. Seriously, nothing. Even less than nothing. A guy can text you before you even go on a date and you think that means you’ll totally get along and then you meet and you basically loathe him. If you don’t care about those little messages being sent to your iPhone, then you won’t get disappointed.
  4. Not everyone loves to text. What a concept. Some people are marathon texters – they can send you beautifully crafted paragraphs that make you think they should write novels for a living. Others write “k” and you think they’re being passive aggressive but they really just despise texting. None of it means anything. Really.
  5. Texting gets old fast. Sure, you’re thrilled that you and your new guy have so much in common and so much to chat about. The messages are flying and you’re laughing and he’s sending cute coffee emoticons and it seems like the good items will never end. But then they do and you’re left wondering if you don’t have a shot at love after all. All that happened was you both got tired of being so clever all the time. If your in-person connection is still there, don’t worry.
  6. Some guys only want to text. This is probably one of the most irritating parts of modern dating. You want a boyfriend and he wants a texting buddy. Yawn. It’s like he thinks that if he’s texting a female, that somehow means he actually is in a relationship. Think again, buddy.
  7. Texting can be lazy. It also makes you lazy. It’s so simple to text back and forth and never make an actual plan. It’s so easy to think that means he doesn’t want to date you after all. If you don’t let texting have such a huge hold on you, you can save yourself a lot of misunderstandings.
  8. Texting makes people crazy. Isn’t that the honest truth? Two people can have a conversation via their iPhones and come away from it thinking totally different things. It’s the ultimate he said/she said kind of situation. If you don’t let texting have such a huge hold on you, you can save yourself a lot of misunderstandings.
  9. You have other crap to worry about. Seriously, what would you rather do – make a game plan for your career or sit there staring at a text message? Yeah. The answer is pretty obvious.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.