The Importance Of Finding Your Female Tribe

As I enter my 30s, I’ve never had a better group of friends. Through every high and low life has thrown at me, I’ve had such solid support from my girls. When I was younger, I had mainly male friends. I didn’t see the value in strong female friendship. However, now that I have them, I can’t imagine my life without them. Here are some reasons why you absolutely must find your female tribe:

  1. They understand bad breakups better than anyone. Every time I’ve been through a brea-up, my girlfriends are the first ones there. Post-breakup I can text them and tell them how sad/mad/generally upset I am and they’ll show up with wine, chocolate, and pizza before I can even tell them why. They’re also the first ones to tell you what you need to hear rather than just the things you want to hear.
  2. You can be silly and ridiculous and completely yourself with them. In your adult life, have you ever laughed so hard you’ve almost peed your pants? Laughed until wine comes out your nose? Ever had a spontaneous dance party in a kitchen at 2 a.m.? Choreographed Michael Jackson songs on a back patio? I have. This is all thanks to the great women I have in my life. I like to think that because of these seemingly silly moments, I’ve added years to my life.
  3. They’re down to try whatever fad exercise program comes up. Need someone to bench press while wearing a tutu in a pool? They’ll be down to give it a shot with you. No one wants to go to these crazy classes alone. You’ll always find at least one girlfriend crazy enough to go with you.
  4. They’ll have your back without question in times of need. No matter where I move or what happens in my life, I know I’m going to be taken care of. I’ll never be alone in hard times. I know if anything ever happened, I’d have a hand to hold, a couch to sleep on, and a warm meal. If life feels chaotic, I’ll have a friendly text and someone to drink a glass of wine with when I need to slow down. It’s a two-way street—I’d take care of any of them in a heartbeat.
  5. They’re the first people to cheer on your successes. Even when life is on a total upswing, I know if I tell them my achievements, they’ll be there to cheer me on. They’ll congratulate me and push me even further. None of them will ever undermine my success or feel jealous or resentful. They’re my biggest fans.
  6. They’ve been there before and they don’t judge. We all mess up, sometimes monumentally, but your tribe—if they’re a good tribe—will never judge you. In fact, most of the time they’ll be able to commiserate and share some wisdom since they’ve been through something similar before. Learn from their experiences and accept their advice.
  7. You can literally talk to them about anything at all. Nothing is off limits with your women tribe. Your uterus feels super angry, your period is heavy, you have weird chin hairs and you think it’s time to invest in a nose hair trimmer. Again, no judgment—it’s all love, laughter, and a healthy dose of reality.
  8. They’ll try to stop you from making stupid mistakes. Drunk texting your ex-boyfriend? Hooking up with a guy you met at a bar? Moving in with a guy you’ve only been dating a few months? Quit your job without a plan? They’ll try to stop you. They’ll never force you to make a smarter choice, but man will they try to guide you in the right direction. If it calls for it, they’ll go to extreme measures to stop you from making bad choices.
  9. They’ll still love you if they can’t stop you from making stupid mistakes. They’ll sit there and listen to you vent when you realize you’ve made the stupid mistake. For the most part, they will be nonjudgmental plus or minus a few well deserved “I told you so”s, but who could blame them?
  10. They’ll inspire you every single day. Nothing will inspire you more than watching your female friends achieve some of her biggest goals. Watching them grow, change, and live their best life will inspire you to do the same. I’ve never had a stronger, smarter, more beautiful group of people in my life. I have to say that I’m definitely 10 times the woman I ever thought I could be because of them.
Jessica Blake is a 5th grade teacher by day and writer at night. She is navigating the world one day at a time.