Is Finding True Love Really Worth Putting Up With The Disaster That Is Modern Dating?

Getting into a relationship would be nice, but the process it takes to get there is nothing short of a nightmare. At this point, this is why I’m almost willing to throw in the towel and embrace being alone:

  1. There are now multiple types of ghosting. Yup. One kind of ghosting wasn’t crappy enough. Now there are so many kinds, it seems like a new one is being invented every day. From breadcrumbing to benching, it’s impossible to know if the guy I’m dating is as invested as I am.
  2. A ton of dates don’t even happen. Apparently cancelling dates is the new normal, and that’s a pretty sad thought. I’ve lost count of how many guys have gotten cold feet, found better plans, or just didn’t feel like meeting me after all. No matter how confident and secure I am, it still really sucks.
  3. Technology is changing the game. Thanks to dating apps, there are a lot of guys out there who don’t think twice about dropping contact out of the blue or think it’s okay to send creepy messages before they even know what color my eyes are. While the technology is definitely making it easier to connect with people, that doesn’t always mean it’s a good thing.
  4. It’s impossible to tell the good guys from the jerks. I have no clue what a guy is going to be like until he’s sitting across from me drinking a beer… and maybe not even then. I can’t be the only girl who’s dated someone for several months and then realized it’s like he became a different (and way worse) person overnight.
  5. Decent first dates are rare. I can count my good first dates on one hand. It’s starting to feel like a huge waste of time to go through all that planning just to end up disappointed. Honestly, I’d rather stay single than keep going on fruitless first dates at this point.
  6. It’s expensive and exhausting. If I could get paid for my investment in dating, I would be a millionaire. Maybe even a billionaire. It’s nuts how much effort I’ve put into this and have nothing to show for it.
  7. No one wants to commit. Sometimes, I can catch the red flags early when a guy keeps cancelling plans with me. But other times, I’m a few weeks or even months into dating a guy when he reveals that he has no plans to make things serious between us. My time keeps getting wasted, my emotions keep getting stomped on, and quite frankly, I’m sick of it.
  8. It’s hard to stay positive. I’m not a negative person, but talk to me for five minutes about dating and I can turn into the most miserable and bitter girl around. I would love to have a reason to stay optimistic about the search for love, but it can be really difficult when I haven’t found a solid reason to be. My mindset might change if I can find a guy who gives me hope, but until then, I think I’m going to be struggling to keep my chin up.
  9. Half the guys I talk to don’t even seem normal. Forget finding my soulmate — I just want to hang out with a guy who’s mastered basic social conventions. I’ve gone on dates with too many creeps, mama’s boys, and potential serial killers. At this point, any man who doesn’t make me immediately want to run for the hills seems like a miracle.
  10. Everything is just rinse and repeat. Message or match with someone, chat for a bit, plan a first date, have the worst time ever, and go back to the drawing board. Or get cancelled on and lament the state of dating for a little while longer before trying again. Remind me again why I shouldn’t just stay single?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.