Finding Someone Decent On A Dating App Is A Joke

Anyone who’s dated online knows that it’s frustrating on so many levels. Sure, we’ve heard success stories, but for the most part, we’re bitter or disheartened about the whole process. I’d love for it to work and for me to find a lover just like that but it hasn’t happened yet and I’m starting to think it never will.

  1. There are so many people I’m not interested in. I swipe left over and over again. Probably 90% of my swipes are left. What can I say? I’m a picky gal. There are just tons of people I’m not interested in. Maybe they aren’t my type or I’m not attracted to them. I can’t help it. I just wish there were more of my type of person. Instead, I’m starting to think I’ve run out of options.
  2. Dealbreakers and red flags always pop up. I’ll be talking to someone for a couple days, really enjoying our conversation, when they decide to tell me that they’re a total stoner. I have in my profile that I’m not 420 friendly, yet they choose to tell me days later that there’s a dealbreaker in the mix. I find dealbreakers come up a lot and ruin the whole possibility of something happening with a person. They’re frustrating, but I’d rather know now so that I’m not with someone it won’t work with.
  3. Often conversations never lead anywhere. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had pointless banter back and forth where one of us (or both of us) end up fading from the conversation. Sometimes I’m talking to someone and I just know that the conversation isn’t going anywhere. There’s no excitement on either side and it’s just a flat back and forth. Whatever the reason the conversations end, they do more often than not.
  4. I’ve had people unmatch me for unknown reasons. I’ll be talking to someone on Tinder and having what I thought was a really nice conversation. Then I’ll come back to my phone a few hours later to find that the person has unmatched me. Perhaps they deleted their account, but also people are allowed to reject me too. Rejection definitely happens quite frequently.
  5. I seldom even want to go on a second date. Even if I miraculously make it to the first date with people, almost all of the dates are flops. I get there and realize instantly that I’m not attracted to them or that they’re awkward as all hell. I pat myself on the back for trying to go on a first date with someone I had some hope for, but it more often than not just doesn’t work out. I definitely don’t want a second date, leaving me still quite single.
  6. So many people just want something casual. It actually got to the point where I started laughing when I heard it. I was so sick of hearing the damn word. I finally started practicing asking most people online what they’re looking for before we even went on a date so that no one’s wasting their time—particularly me. This helped, but it meant I was going on fewer dates.
  7. I’ve gotten my hopes up only to be let down. People have come into my life as a result of a dating app and I’ve been really excited about them. Like, super excited. I had high hopes for how things were going to pan out and then they just flopped. In one instance someone screwed me over pretty badly. I know this isn’t a reflection of all of online dating, though I can’t help but be a little mad at it.
  8. Nothing has panned out yet. I’m single after all this time and effort. It certainly isn’t for lack of trying that I’m alone. Rather, nothing has worked out and I don’t necessarily know why. Maybe it’s just the way things are supposed to be for me, but I hate that. All I want is a nice relationship with a special person to pan out from online dating. Is that so much to ask for?
  9. I’m losing hope. I’m really starting to feel like there’s no one out there for me. My unique standards and who I am aren’t matching up with the people I’ve been running into. I know there’s still a chance for me but it’s hard to hold on hope when I’m still single despite all this time spent on dating apps. Hence why I feel like I’m going to turn into a skeleton waiting patiently for a lover.
  10. I don’t know where else to meet people. I know the suggestions—go to a meetup, chat with a stranger in a public place, get some hobbies. None of these things actually happen, though. Except for the hobby one—I have hobbies and I don’t want to date people in those circles for fear of ruining my hobbies if it doesn’t work out. Where else do I meet people? The internet feels like the only place.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at