First Date Dread: Why Going Out With A New Guy Is The Worst

First dates aren’t the actual worst. You get to know someone new, and you may even get a drink or two out of it — maybe even more if you want to embrace your inner lush completely. They end up being a moderate amount of fun, and can be far superior to spending the night with Netflix. But even if it’s the first date of your fantasies, there are still some serious drawbacks when it comes to meeting somebody.

  1. Sometimes the guy looks entirely different in reality.Maybe it’s a set up courtesy of a friend of a friend that you just couldn’t say no to, a right swipe on Tinder, or you met at a bar and kind of forgot his face, sometimes he’s just not what you were expecting. Maybe your friend showed you pictures from almost a decade ago, when he had yet to develop a beer gut and a bald spot. Perhaps when you met at a bar you failed to realize that once you stand up, you tower over him. Sometimes things just don’t line up.
  2. The night out can be expensive. Whether you’re a fully fledged feminist who goes halfsies no matter what or a southern belle who firmly believes that the gentleman always pays, you’ll have to drop some type of dollars. Either you’re buying the first round, or you’ll have to spend money on a cab home (or one to work in the morning, depending on what you’re into).
  3. You’re stuck knowing stuff about a stranger.Even if you never see this dude again as long as you live (although you probably will late night when he’s out with someone else, because that’s how the universe works), you suddenly know lots about him. It’s like a job interview that doesn’t end in gainful employment, but you end up with lots of useless knowledge about the company.
  4. First dates don’t exactly lead to lifelong friendships. Even if there was zero chemistry, you probably had something to talk about. Unfortunately, ”friend dates” with someone you may or may not have kissed just sound awkward. Now you know everything from his favorite restaurant to his childhood stories, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be having Netflix marathons and ordering pizza.
  5. You have to pretend you don’t know everything about him already.Let’s be honest – if you’re going out with someone, you’ve already Googled him fully. After all, better safe than on an episode of Law and Order: SVU that was ripped from the headlines. Despite the fact that we all know everything about everyone via social media stalking, we have to pretend to be less creepy. So, you act surprised at all of the little nuggets about his life that were easily accessible on Google and LinkedIn.
  6. He probably secretly creeped on you on social media. The reality is that he probably knows just as much about you (okay, he probably hasn’t Zillow-ed your apartment or gone back to your Facebook photos from middle school), but hides it… or at least that’s what you’d like to believe, since he’s not asking you anything. That means he saw all of those embarrassing photos of you from college pre-games and read your latest blog entry about how awful dating is.
  7. The will-he-or-won’t-he part inevitably makes you completely crazy. Directly after the date, you’re wondering how the night will end. Sometimes that means you’re hoping that he won’t lean in for a kiss because you’ve been trying to escape for the past hour, but it can also mean you’re actually hoping for a quick make out sesh. Either way, once that’s over, it’s back to the will he ever actually text, and not in the booty call capacity once it’s the weekend.
  8. Waiting for a text is the worst.If no text ever comes and you were convinced you both had a good time, suddenly you’re questioning everything. Should you have stuck to a two drink minimum like Patti Stanger suggests? That third one might’ve had you babbling… Should you have gone home and changed instead of trekking directly to happy hour from work? Unclear, but that just sounds exhausting. The deliberating that takes placex post first date leads to enough craziness that it could call for therapy… and you’re not spending that type of money on a first date.
Margaret is a freelance writer who covers pop culture and fashion in New York City and currently writes for Page Six's Style section. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, xoJane, and Racked. She tweets about her crippling caffeine addiction and teen TV obsession here: @margaretabrams