First Dates Don’t Scare Me, But Commitment Does

A lot of people I know absolutely hate the nerves and awkwardness that come with going on a first date. It doesn’t help that hookup culture seems to have replaced typical dating altogether. Personally, I’d take a little bit of nervousness over the stress that comes with long-term relationships any day and I can’t help but relate to the guys and girls that prefer the one-night-only mentality.

  1. I’ve got the first-date charm locked down. I’m pretty good at making first impressions, especially when it comes to first dates. There’s nothing quite like leaving a date with a guy and getting a text moments later asking for a second one. I’ve always enjoyed that little feeling of accomplishment and the instant gratification I get from regularly dating would be hard to walk away from.
  2. I love meeting new people. First dates are always so interesting. I typically have a good idea of what I’m getting myself into, based on a guy’s dating profile or what my friends know about him, but there’s always an element of mystery. If I settle down too quickly, I’ll miss out on those exciting moments.
  3. I’m paranoid about the FOMO. I have to admit, a big contributing factor to my fear of long-term relationships is the reality of missing out on better opportunities. I don’t want to get into a relationship with someone and deal with the nagging in the back of my mind that there may be someone else out there that’s more compatible for me.
  4. First dates are usually so exciting. Although I’ve had my share of awkward first dates, normally they can be really fun. I love the coy smiles, the get-to-know-you questions, and the warm feeling that comes from good conversation. Sometimes, I look around and it’s pretty easy to tell when a seasoned couple is out for a date. Most of the time, their eyes are focused on their phones and they’re barely looking at each other, much less having an actual conversation. Some people might feel joy in comfortable silence, but that’s just not for me. I want electricity, and I know the longer a relationship lasts, the more likely it is I’ll lose it.
  5. The longer I’m with a guy, the more opportunities he’ll have to disappoint me. I’m not delusional, I know there are going to be high points and low points in my life, no matter how careful I am with my heart. I’ve simply come to the realization that I can protect myself if I never give a guy the time it takes to do serious damage. I haven’t dated a guy in a while that seems worth the risk of letting my guard down.
  6. I don’t want things to get boring. I don’t want to end up in a long-term relationship just because that’s what everyone else around me seems to be doing. Plenty of my friends are in good, solid relationships, but I have plenty more that are miserably going through life with their significant others for reasons I can’t understand. My girlfriends are constantly lamenting about how they can’t get their guys to take them out anymore and the daily monotony is chipping away at their happiness.
  7. My self-confidence only goes so far. Walking into a first date is a breeze, but even thinking about milestones like meeting the parents makes me anxious as hell. I wouldn’t say I’m a total commitment-phobe, I’m just a little skeptical of my ability to be relationship material.
  8. I’ve been burned one too many times. There’s a reason I typically keep the men I date at arm’s length. I’ve been in long-term relationships before and, unsurprisingly, none of them have worked out for me so far. The amount of damage a guy can do to my heart is pretty minimal if I only go out with him a few times. Of course, I understand that this means I’ll never really get to know a guy on a deeper level, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet anyways.
  9. I’m loving this freedom. I like the idea of being committed to one person, having one person I can always lean on. The problem is, I can’t stand how guys think they have the right to put limitations on my life just because we’re dating. The lack of trust is maddening. I don’t want to run everything I do by another person, I’m not going to ask permission to live my life. I enjoy my freedom, and I’ve yet to meet a guy that fully respects that.
  10. I’m hoping I’ll know when it’s the right time to settle down. I genuinely hope that sometime down the line, I’ll meet someone I just can’t walk away from. I also hope that my intuition will kick in at the right time and I won’t inadvertently walk away from someone that’s so obviously right for me. Until that day comes, I’m just going to keep doing what makes me happy.
Jessica is a proud Pittsburgher that loves to drink tea and adopt cats in her spare time. She is a self-proclaimed Slytherin and would like to visit Harry Potter World as soon as possible!