There’s been a running theme throughout most of my life: I either have a boyfriend or I’m sad, single, bitter and desperately want one. I’ve never been able to just let myself be single and enjoy it. Now that I’ve changed my life around and done some serious work on myself, the opposite is true. I have no desire to be with anyone and couldn’t care less about finding a boyfriend. This is why:
- I’m busy as hell. I’ve always been a person who has a lot going on. The difference now is that I’m motivated by joy and ambition instead of anxiety and fear. I actually like all the stuff I’m doing, so I want to devote my time to it. I don’t need or want a guy as an excuse to avoid the rest of my life.
- I’m trying new stuff on my own. I realized that I can do everything I’ve always wanted by myself. I kept waiting for a guy to do it with me, but even when I had one, he either wasn’t interested or didn’t have the time/resources/money. Rather than continuing to be frustrated and not live the life I want, I decided to go for it regardless! It’s awesome.
- My life is full of wonderful friends. I am full to the brim with love for the people I’ve been lucky to surround myself with and call my tribe. Honestly, while a romantic relationship is different, I feel no need for one. I am loved by many, and I love myself as well. That’s all anyone actually requires.
- I have a drive to succeed. I always wanted success but had no idea how to motivate myself and achieve it. I felt lost, helpless, with no control over my own destiny. Now I believe in my ability to do whatever I want to do. It’s a powerful feeling. I know I don’t need a guy — I can choose the one I want when I’m ready.
- I’m following all my dreams. I thought I was already doing that, but in reality, I was stuck in an endless rut. Once I let go of what was no longer serving me, I found a new lightness. That positivity has enabled me to start saying “yes” to my life and seizing opportunities. I’m asking for what I want and amazingly enough, getting it! Now I know I can have my dreams and be single at the same time.
- I’m finally saying “yes” to my life. This means that instead of being dissatisfied with myself, what I have, and where I am, I decided to embrace all of it. Now that I’ve quit wasting energy on all that negativity, I have the drive to go after new and exciting life choices. I don’t know exactly where I’m headed, but now I find that exciting instead of terrifying. I’m strong and independent standing on my own.
- I feel good about myself regardless. There was a time when I based all my feelings of self-worth on the opinion of a man. I was so happy when a man thought I was wonderful because it allowed me to believe it too. Now that I love myself instead of relying on others to do it for me, I’m free of the need for a relationship. I will accept love from the right person eventually, but I feel no rush.
- I have a huge list of priorities more important than dating. My health. My career. Paying my bills. Spending time with friends and family. Taking time for myself. Seeking out new opportunities. Exploring. Adventuring. Writing. Connecting. Reading. Volunteering. The list goes on and on! To be absolutely frank, I’d rather do just about anything than spend a free evening with a stranger I may not even like. I have so little spare time and I’d rather do something I know I’ll enjoy instead.
- I’m not making a real effort to get out there because I’m already satisfied. I used to care a lot more about meeting men because I felt like I needed one to be happy. Now I’m perfectly happy being on my own. Why, then, try that hard? I don’t want a family or kids, so I don’t have any sort of timeline on finding a partner. I’m perfectly content to keep focusing on me.
- I don’t need a man to feel complete anymore. This is probably my most important accomplishment of the last year. I now stand on my own, happy, independent, full of love, and single. That’s a huge deal for me. Loving myself enough to realize that I don’t need a guy to tell me that I’m wonderful in order to know it? A priceless achievement.
