Flirting Moves Men Should Drop If They Actually Want To Get Laid

Flirting Moves Men Should Drop If They Actually Want To Get Laid ©iStock/filadendron

You’d think that guys of 2015 would know everything there is to know about the female mind, but modern men seem to be even more clueless than older generations in the romance department. Most of them have no idea how to talk to women like normal human beings, let alone how to get us to sleep with them. If they ever want to get laid, there are certain moves they need to drop as soon as possible, like these:

  1. Just staring. We can’t tell if you’re staring at us because you want to sleep with us or murder us. That’s why we’ll run the other way if you continue to look at us without blinking. If you’re interested, walk right up to us and introduce yourself instead of gawking.
  2. Backhanded compliments. Some men think that insulting us in the middle of a compliment will make us weak in the knees. However, telling us we’re pretty for someone of our size isn’t going to get you laid. It’ll just get you kicked in the balls.
  3. Waiting to call. The three day rule is prehistoric. There’s no reason for you to wait to call us if you like us. If you do, we’re going to forget all about you and start swiping right for other men on Tinder.
  4. Sending penis pics. Keep your penis in your pants. Unless we’re unzipping your jeans in the middle of a make out session, we probably don’t want to see it. Woo us with your personality, because your genitals aren’t going to do you any favors over your crummy phone camera.
  5. Catcalling. Can whistling and yelling out comments to a stranger even count as flirting? It’s never going to get you laid, so you might as well keep your lips sealed. Sexual harassment isn’t sexy.
  6. Grinding. Some of us will go out to the clubs with the intention of getting laid. However, if you see a girl dancing with a group of female friends, who clearly doesn’t want to be bothered, grinding on her without speaking first is a big mistake. We don’t want your penis pressed against us without our consent.
  7. Claiming you’re a “nice guy.” If you actually advertise the fact that you’re a “nice guy,” you’ll probably also say that we’re “not like most girls” and rant about the “friend zone.” We don’t want to hear any of that. If you’re really a nice guy, we’ll figure it out on our own.
  8. Copied and pasted messages. This is the biggest mistake you could make on a dating site. We don’t want to receive the same message that dozens of other women received. If you’re going to try to get with us, at least make your messages personal, so we don’t feel like interchangeable sex objects.
  9. Pretending you don’t care. Stop acting like you don’t give a damn about us. We won’t call you desperate if you tell us how pretty we are or double text us. We want attention. It shows that you like us.
  10. Buying us a drink. Sure, we’ll take a drink if you offer it to us. Of course, that shouldn’t be the only move you plan on making . Alcohol isn’t going to win us over. You actually need to talk to us and form a connection before inviting us back to your place.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.