If there’s one thing I love, it’s stories about dumb criminals. Whether it’s the crime itself that beggars belief when it comes to lacking common sense or the excuses the suspects try with police, it really cracks me up when people do wild stuff and dig themselves massive holes trying to get out of it. That’s definitely the case with 27-year-old Getro Gelin, the Florida man who claimed the illegal weapons found in his car didn’t belong to him but to his cousin… John Wick.
- Gelin was confronted by police on April 26. Officers responded to a 911 call from a woman who claimed that Gelin had pushed her to the ground and threatened her with a gun. When they arrived at the scene in Port St. Lucie and asked Gelin for permission to search his vehicle, that’s when they found his — I’m sorry, John Wick’s — weapon stash.
- He was in big trouble. According to The Smoking Gun, the search of Gelin’s Porsche yielded some pretty interesting things: a Glock 21 pistol, a semi-automatic rifle, and a bulletproof vest. Of course, they weren’t his. As he explained to police when they asked about the weapons, he’d previously sold the car to his cousin, John Wick. Sure, makes sense.
- Gelin later admitted he was lying. When police eventually called him on using the infamous Keanu Reeves movie character as the scapegoat for his illegal weapon possession, Gelin admitted that his cousin’s name isn’t actually John Wick but he still wasn’t prepared to give the real name up (likely because the guns were Gelin’s himself).
- He was obviously arrested. The New York Post reports that Gelin was arrested on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and domestic battery and is still being held in the county jail on $3,500 bond. Too bad John Wick can’t come and pay that for him. He has the money, right?