Ladies, Focus On Your Life, Not On Becoming Someone’s Wife

Sometime around the age of 25, your social media feeds start to change. There are fewer nights at the bar and more afternoon brunches, fewer selfies and more babies, and definitely more engagement rings than you can shake a stick at. It probably seems like everyone around you is getting married while you can’t even get past the first date. But so what? You have so many more important things to do in life than worrying about becoming someone’s wife.You have so many more important things to do in life than worrying about becoming someone’s wife.

  1. You have literally your entire life to get married. Whether you have a partner or not, there’s no age limit on being a bride. There’s no handbook on life that says you need to check off the marriage and baby boxes before you turn 30! Life isn’t a contest, and sorry if I sound harsh, but getting married doesn’t make you special. Following your dreams, getting educated, exploring new cultures and learning from them… all of these things add up to uniquely define the imprint you leave on this world. That’s worth cultivating; the peony bouquets can wait.  More importantly, if he’s “The One,” he’ll wait.
  2. Think of how all that wedding money could be better spent. You’ve probably seen too many of your closest, smartest and most ambitious friends get caught up in the wedding whirlwind and lose sight of what they really want to achieve in their lives. The financial commitments you’ve seen them make for a single day is mind-blowing. These women, who once spoke of their philanthropical plans and desire to travel the world fulfilling them, are now spending upwards of 10k to rent a dining hall for an evening. We won’t even get into the flowers, either — let’s just say you really should’ve been a florist. Now maybe you’re being “selfish,” but if you have to choose between a $20,000 wedding or several international vacations, then guess what — you should probably just live it up on the Greek Isles for a few weeks!
  3. The right person will love you for your independence and accomplishments outside of your relationship. You’re probably so sick of hearing the same old BS from your fellow single friends, and maybe you’re even guilty of saying some of this stuff yourself — that it gets harder to meet someone the older you get, that your clock is ticking, that you really want to find love. So, what? Rush out now and snatch one up before your boobs start to sag? First of all, wear a better bra. Secondly, the right person, whenever they come along, is going to be drawn to you for all the things you’ve done on your own. When you have a personal drive to get sh*t done, people honestly can’t help but be attracted to your strong sense of self. Seriously look out, though — I swear men know when you’re on your own grind and they swoop in to try and distract you. I’m not saying you can’t get distracted here and there, but remember to choose your distractions carefully and don’t lose sight of your end goal, whatever it may be.
  4. At the end of the day, all you’ve got is yourself. Yes, being in a relationship is amazing and having a partner by your side to celebrate life’s milestones makes then that much more meaningful. There’s also nothing wrong with having a wedding, being excited about your wedding, or married life! But if you aren’t true to yourself, you’ll never really be happy. I can’t bear to see another strong, intelligent lady lose herself in a fever of Galia Lahav dresses and overpriced veal. I’ll be real with you — someone you’re madly in love with now could be your arch nemesis in five years. Hell, it could happen in five months — just look at any of Taylor Swift’s relationships. Enough said. But honestly, the one person you’re guaranteed to be stuck with is yourself, so make sure that you build a life you can be proud of.
Vicky is a Toronto native who works as a professional photographer by day and a writer by night. She has a bachelor's degree from the University of Waterloo and will soon begin a master's degree in psychology.