A food digger is exactly the same as a gold digger, it’s just that food diggers are more interested in being with someone for the free grub than the extra cash. If you meet the following criteria, the chances are that you’re verging on food digger territory (if you’re not there already).
You really, REALLY love food. Captain Obvious over here, but clearly you have to be a food lover to be a food digger, otherwise, what’s the point? Someone who’s just lukewarm about food won’t work here—you have to be really passionate about every single morsel that passes your lips.
You seriously hate cooking. Hate is such a strong word—perhaps you don’t hate cooking but you’d just much rather eat out at nice restaurants every night of the week than stand in front of the stove and prepare your own meals. If this sounds like you, you might just be a bona fide food digger in the making.
You only agree to go out on a date if there’s food involved. Forget ice-skating, going to the park, or even grabbing a few cocktails—you’re not going to waste your time going on a date with a guy unless the primary purpose is to get food. After all, you’re the type of person who might not be hungry all the time, but you could always eat. #TrueStory
If you can’t choose the restaurant for your date, you’re not going. Basically, the only reason you demand to choose the restaurant is so that you can pick the most expensive one with the best possible food. No McDonald’s or Taco Bell for you—a food digger expects the best.
You’re all about the multi-course tasting menus. After all, you’ve made all that effort to go to a restaurant with the guy, so it’s only fair that you’re allowed to have at least three courses. You’re like, “Appetizer, entree, and dessert—come at me, bro!” You’re ready to do some serious munching on a date—and hell yes, you’ll have room for dessert.
You’re not afraid to choose the most expensive dishes on the menu. In fact, you’re purposefully trying to pick the priciest options. Why? Expensive means high quality, darling. You’re not going to settle for anything mediocre, that’s for sure.
You often “forget” your purse so you don’t have to pay. The whole point of being a food digger is that your date pays, so why on earth would you offer? In fact, you make it crystal clear to the guy that you don’t have your purse on you so there’s no way that you’re paying. Unlucky, dude.
You line up dinner dates for as many nights of the week as possible. You can’t imagine having to cook during the week when you’ve just worked a full day, therefore you make sure that you have a series of dinner dates in the diary. Eating out all the time is the best!
When you’re not working, you’ve been known to line up dates for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You want to be able to cover all eating options available during the days that you don’t have to work, therefore you try to arrange dates for every meal time. Otherwise, you’d have to buy food and cook for yourself. No thanks.
Free food + hot guy = ultimate happiness. If the date is pleasant and the food is pleasant, this makes for a perfect combination! In fact, this would be your ultimate happy place, and why would you want to be anywhere else other than your ultimate happy place? You don’t—that’s the point!
You’ll go on dates with guys you don’t like for the free meal. After all, even if you barely remember the guy’s name a few months from now, you’ll definitely remember how perfectly the steak was cooked and how your creme brulee had just the perfect amount of crackling sugar on top. Mm, food.
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