Here’s What You Feel When You Meet “The One” — It’s Better Than Butterflies

You might expect that when your person finally crosses your path, you’ll be full of butterflies and overwhelmed with passion, but it goes way beyond that (and it’s way better). Here’s what you really feel when you meet “The One.”

1. You feel like you finally belong.

Your days of feeling left out or left behind are over once you find the love of your life. They accept you for who you are, not in spite of it, and you don’t feel pressured to pretend that you’re someone you’re not in order to fit in. You finally feel like you’re right where you belong because they just get you.

2. You feel like a better person.

Some of us don’t value ourselves as much as we should, which is why we don’t actively try to better ourselves. However, once you find someone that makes you happy, you want to give them everything that they deserve, which is why you aim to become the best person that you can be. This effort is always aided by the fact that they’re always right there by your side cheering you on like your own personal cheerleader.

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4. You feel comfortable.

When you meet the one, you suddenly feel massively relaxed. A quiet car ride doesn’t make you anxious because the silence is comfortable. You feel more comfortable in your skin too. You don’t even feel the need to brush your hair, slap on some makeup, or put in your contacts as soon as you get up because you know that your partner doesn’t care what you look like. Better yet, they think you’re beautiful with or without all those things.

5. You feel sexy.

All your partner has to do is look at you to make you feel sexy. The way their eyes scan over your body reminds you that they love every inch of you—even the parts of you that you consider flaws. They make you feel desired and they go out of their way to let you know how much they desire you (as well as letting you know it’s about more than that, of course).

6. You feel appreciated.

Your exes might not have appreciated the expensive presents you bought and the meals you made, but the right person for you will appreciate the little things. You don’t have to put on a song and dance in order to impress them. They make you feel appreciated just for being you. Not only that, but they never take you for granted. They recognize all the things you do to make their life easier and their world a better place and they love you even more for it.

7. You feel like you’re at home.

Home doesn’t have to be a place. It can be a person. When you meet the love of your life, you always feel like you’re right where you’re supposed to be even when you’re miles away from your hometown. There’s a familiarity there that’s unexplainable but it makes it easy to be anywhere as long as they’re there by your side.

8. You feel like you don’t have to worry.

Once you find your soulmate, the future stops becoming scary and starts becoming exciting. You won’t be able to wait until you get to move into an apartment, get married, and start your long life together.

9. You feel like you’ve found your best friend.

Your partner should double as your best friend. They should be the first person you want to tell your good news to and the last person you want to deliver bad news to. Their happiness is your happiness, after all. More than that, but they’re the one who makes you laugh the most, the one who always knows how to put a smile on your face on the worst days, and the one who knows how to pull you back down to earth a bit when you start getting carried away.

10. You feel like yourself.

Even though you’ve had decades to get to know yourself, the right person will bring out parts of yourself you never knew existed. You’ll see a whole new side to your personality. It’s as if all the parts of yourself you’ve kept closed off for a long time have suddenly been restored to you and you feel so much more you. It’s strange.

11. You feel like your life has completely changed.

Even though your schedule might be the only thing that actually changes when you meet Mr. or Ms. Right, it feels like so much more has changed. Your whole world feels a little different, a little more vibrant and alive. You had a whole life, but when you meet “The One,” the feelings are just overwhelming in the best possible way.

What you won’t feel when you meet “The One”

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There are some feelings we think are indicative of love but are actually big red flags. Don’t confuse these emotions for the real deal because they’re really anything but.

1. Jealousy

You might think jealousy is an indication that you really care about someone and don’t want them to be with anyone else, and while that might be true to a degree, it’s not a healthy emotion. Your partner shouldn’t be doing anything to cause you to feel jealous, either purposely or otherwise, and you should be able to check yourself enough to realize that there’s nothing to worry about.

2. Anxiety

Some people would argue that it’s natural to feel anxious when you meet “The One” because you want things to work out and go smoothly, but as indicated above, this isn’t normal at all. In fact, anxiety is a sign that something isn’t quite right in your relationship. It’s your gut’s way of telling you that something is off, maybe with the other person, maybe with you, or maybe with the situation as a whole. Don’t ignore that feeling.

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4. Desperation

Do you sit staring at your phone for hours wondering when they’ll get in touch? When you’re not hanging out, are you at a loss for what to do with yourself and distraught until you’re back together? Do you feel like you’ll absolutely lose your mind if things go downhill and you break up? That’s desperation, not love, and that’s not how you should feel when you meet “The One.”

5. Nervousness

A bit of nervousness when you first start dating someone is to be expected, but if you find that you feel insecure and uncertain around them as you get to hang out more, that’s not a good sign. The more you get to know each other, the more comfortable you should feel with them. If that’s not happening, or if you’re getting even more nervous around them, things probably aren’t meant to be.

6. Obsession

Your partner is going to be a massive part of your life, and obviously an important one. However, they shouldn’t be your entire life. You shouldn’t give up your friends and family, your hobbies and passions, or your thoughts and beliefs in order to be with them. You can’t allow your relationship to take over your life because that’s not love, it’s an obsession. In the end, that flame will crash and burn, leaving you devastated and alone.


Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.