Forget Relationship Standards—Here Are 10 Single Woman Standards You Need To Adopt ASAP

You probably have ideals and expectations when you’re in a relationship, but you should have standards for living a fabulous single life too. Here are 11 that should make your list.

  1. You don’t date for the sake of it. You’ve been alone for ages and it’s not always about dancing with your single girlfriends and buying one another jewelry. Sometimes it can be really tough, which could make you want to date someone just so that you’re not alone on a Friday night. It’s not really worth it, though, is it? Instead, make one of your single woman standards that you’re not afraid to make yourself happy instead of searching for someone else to do that for you.
  2. You don’t sleep with someone just because you have needs. Yes, you do have needs and you deserve to have pleasure. Luckily, you don’t have to sleep with someone because of the pressure you might feel to satisfy that pleasure thanks to articles about how often women your age are having sex. In fact, you might not even want to have sex with anyone outside of a committed relationship and maybe you don’t want to pretend to be down with casual relationships either. What’s wrong with that?
  3. You don’t feel ashamed about your single status. It’s easy to want to laugh off your single status when people question you about it, but why do that? Stand proud. You could have a partner if you truly wanted one but it’s just not that high up on your list of priorities right now.
  4. You’re proud of the fab life you’ve created for yourself. Look around. You have an amazing career, tons of passions and hobbies, and you’re chasing your dreams. You have a stunning support system of women who are always there for you. You’re surrounded by love and happiness. You’re living an amazing life. Own it.
  5. You remember you’re already complete. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you have to find love in order to have a full and complete life but deep down, you know that’s BS. You’re already complete. Make that another single woman standard right now so you don’t forget!
  6. You don’t avoid your taken friends. It sucks when your friends are getting into committed relationships and it feels like they’re leaving you behind. You’d be forgiven for thinking that you should pull back from them a bit, but why? Nothing should come between your closest friendships. Besides, they’re not leaving you behind, they’re choosing a different path. “Taken” isn’t better or further up the path than “single.” It’s just different, that’s all.
  7. You don’t fear the plus-one events. Being forced to either phone your creepy crush and ask him to your friend’s wedding or go alone is the true definition of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. But being single and proud of it means not being afraid of flying solo. A woman who’s bold will see it as an opportunity to have more fun than any of the couples there!
  8. You don’t stay with a toxic guy because it’s better than nothing. You might fear leaving a guy who’s bad for you because you don’t want to be single again but just think of how you’re sabotaging yourself by doing this! You’re basically saying you’re not worthy of being happy on your own, or that you’re not worthy of real love from someone who would treat you right. “Miserable and in a relationship” is not a standard any single woman should ever have. You’re worth more than that.
  9. You realize single life is a treasure. Because it really is. Sure, glancing into those happy couples’ lives, it seems like they have it made. However, you have it made in your own way, so love your life. When you’re comfortable with who you are and where you are in your life, you become much pickier about who you let into your life, which is super-empowering.
  10. You know the difference between loneliness and being aloneThere’s a difference. When you’re lonely, you feel you need to be around people. When you’re alone, you know you can make yourself happy. You don’t always need to be surrounded by people. The latter’s a powerful position to be in as a single woman. When you hold the keys to your happiness, you really don’t need anything more.
  11. You know it’s OK to not want the husband and white picket fence. Sometimes women feel embarrassed or ashamed about being single because they’re “forever single” and they know they actually don’t want the man, the kids, the white picket fence, or the morning carpool. As in ever. That’s totally cool! One of the single woman standards you should start living by is giving yourself permission to be okay with your life choice. It’s sometimes not a case of “someday the right guy will come along” but “the right guy might come along but I’m not interested now and won’t be then.” It’s not about being bitter but about loving your single life too much. And why shouldn’t you?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.