I Found My Long-Term Boyfriend On Tinder—It’s Possible

Tinder can be totally soul-crushing when you’re looking for a potential long-term partner. Filled with people who are only looking for something casual, the app is a melting pot for the things you don’t want in dating. I went through this for a really long time and regularly got frustrated as all hell. I didn’t give up, though, and it actually paid off—I found my long-term boyfriend on the app.

  1. To be clear: many people are on Tinder to hook up. I’m not going to lie to you and say that Tinder is a perfect place to meet someone you want to be with for a while. Rather, most people are looking to hook up or to pursue something casual. It can get super draining looking for a needle in the haystack, but it’s worth looking. Just have to weed through a bunch of people looking for a one and done.
  2. There are people actually looking for a relationship. Although it may seem like every single person on Tinder is just looking for something low-key (AKA sex), there are people who want more—you just have to find them. They may be hidden having a profile with no information—it isn’t always clear. You just have to keep talking to people until you find someone who is both looking for something serious and you want to date. No problem, right?
  3. Even if you find someone looking to date, you may not be compatible. I can’t tell you how many times I got excited just learning that someone was actually looking to date and ultimately have a serious relationship. I was psyched each time and I thought, “This is the one!” But, just because they want something serious doesn’t mean we’re going to be compatible. Rather, it’s just one step along the way to finding out if we could be in a relationship or not.
  4. I wrote in my profile “looking for something serious.” I think this was incredibly important to attracting the right person. It definitely repelled some people who weren’t looking for what I was and it excited the people who were looking for something long-term. Being explicit was bold, but totally worth it. It may have attracted my partner to my profile even more than my lovely smiling face.
  5. I never settled for someone looking for less. It would have been really easy to say screw it and just settle for someone who was looking for something casual. I could have waited around, hoping that they’d change their minds after seeing how amazing I was and they’d want to be together full-time. This would never happen, though, and I didn’t waste my time trying. I unmatched them once I realized we wanted different things.
  6. I walked away when someone was vague about what they wanted. At least people saying they’re just looking to hook up were straightforward about it. They told me exactly what they wanted so I knew when to walk away. The vague buggers, on the other hand, told me they were looking for things like “whatever happens” and “who knows?” Okay, no. I know what I want and I’m clear about it—I wanted the same from my Tinder date.
  7. I didn’t hook up with my partner for a while. Some guys are skeezy enough to say that they’re looking for something serious, then once they sleep with you they bounce. I’ve been there. I wasn’t interested in having that happen to me, so for a variety of reasons I’ve held off on sleeping with my boyfriend. I knew that if I wanted to be sure he was serious about me, he’d be okay with waiting until I was ready to have sex.
  8. On the first date, my partner said he wants something serious. The cool thing about finding someone on a dating app who also wants a relationship is that they’re generally upfront about it, too. He was explicit right on the first date that he wasn’t just trying to mess around. He was looking for something more substantial. This made me super happy, especially after all of the awful chats and dates that just ended in the word “casual.”
  9. I actually found a good guy. Beyond finding someone who doesn’t just want to hook up (which is the basic foundation), my boyfriend is a total sweetheart. I found a good one on Tinder—who would’ve known? He’s a great match for me, he treats me like a princess, and I just adore him.
  10. There’s hope. My situation is definitely not the only story of two people finding each other on Tinder and being happily coupled. These stories exist everywhere, you just have to look for them. There’s definitely hope for you if you’re on Tinder and looking for something serious. Keep swiping and keep sticking to your guns, your lover is in the near future.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.