To The Friend Who Ditched Me When She Got A Boyfriend

We’d been friends for years — we made it through all the high school drama and even the mess that is college and early adulthood. Our relationship survived a lot, but there was one thing it couldn’t withstand — your new boyfriend. You fell hard and he wasn’t my cup of tea, but still I thought our friendship would survive. Instead, you ditched me and never looked back, and I never got a chance to tell you my true feelings. Here they are:

  1. Good luck when the relationship goes south. He wasn’t exactly a keeper. He had so many red flags and you chose to ignore all of them. You always did. You had the worst taste in men and you never learned from your mistakes. You asked for my opinion and my advice but you would never take it. Now you’re on your own — good luck.
  2. I thought our friendship was better than that. I thought we were better friends than the kind that leave each other the second one of them gets a boyfriend. I didn’t realize we were only friends because you were single, that you were just waiting for some man to sweep you off your feet so you could stop hanging out with me. God, I really was a fool.
  3. So much for being BFFs. Best friends forever? More like best friends until you got a boyfriend and didn’t need me anymore. We weren’t just any old friends, we were the best of friends, or at least that’s what I thought. Apparently you didn’t feel the same. All those promises to be friends for life meant nothing to you, but they meant everything to me.
  4. Just because I didn’t like him doesn’t mean our friendship was doomed. I still wanted to be friends with you. Who cares what your boyfriend thinks or what I think of him? What matters is what you think, but obviously you didn’t think enough of me to keep me around.
  5. I’m not so much angry as I am hurt. At first, I was angry. I couldn’t believe you could throw away our friendship in the blink of an eye for some guy you just met. I got over the anger though and then I was just left with loss. Losing you hurt me, especially when I realized that I was the only one who cared. You were perfectly fine without me and that’s the hardest part to forgive. I was replaceable, or at least I was to you.
  6. I would have never done that to you. I should have realized you’d do that to me, though. I was always putting more effort into our friendship than you were. I was always a better friend to you than you were to me. I never gave it much thought until our friendship was over, but you didn’t deserve a friend like me and I deserved a way better one than you.
  7. You deserve better than him. I should have been able to tell you that without the fear that our friendship would be over because of it. He didn’t treat you right and still you chose him over me. I never gave you an ultimatum. I never tried to make your life choices, but I had to live with the consequences because when you chose to be with him, you left me.
  8. He changed you. You’re not the girl I used to know. You’re not the best friend I grew up with. In fact, you changed into a girl I barely recognize. You have all new friends and a whole new personality. Being with him changed you, and I don’t think it was for the better.
  9. I guess we were always headed down different paths. Our lives were going in different directions and I guess it took you being with him for us to finally (maybe reluctantly on my part) accept it. There was a fork in the road and we went our separate ways and it doesn’t feel like we’ll ever find our way back. We’re each on our own journey and he was just the bump in the road we couldn’t get past.
  10. Was he worth it? You thought he was “The One” and the love of your life but I’ve heard things aren’t going so well between you now. So was he worth throwing away so many years of friendship? If you could have one of us in your life knowing what you know now, who would it be? You tossed away our friendship like it was yesterday’s lunch and now you have nothing to show for it. I’d rather he have been the right guy for you, because at least pushing me away would have made (a little more) sense.
  11. I still wish you the best. Despite everything, I hope someday you do find the right guy for you. I still care about you and I always will, because no matter what, you were important to me. For a long time, you were a huge part of my life. That may not still be true today, but for the sake of who you used to be, I hope you find a man who does make you happy, just like I have. We both deserve that.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.