My Friend Encouraged Me To Date A Guy, Then She Slept With Him—WTF?

It’s the ultimate bitch move when a so-called “friend” wants you to meet a great guy but then she goes and hooks up with him behind your back. This happened to me and I just don’t get it. Why not just go ahead and have him instead of messing me around? Ugh.

  1. I had no idea she was a frenemy in disguise. I was really good friends with her. We’d known each other for over a decade and she’d always been good to me. I had no idea she was a snake in the grass, just waiting to strike! I was so trusting of her, I was an easy target: a little obvious bunny thinking the snake was kind.
  2. She wasn’t happy for me when she realized we had chemistry. I always thought she had my best interests at heart, so when she told me she wanted me to meet a great guy she knew, I thought it was a good idea. But then I started to get the hint she wasn’t happy for me when I told her that I’d met the guy and we’d hit it off. She looked a little pissed off actually, but I thought maybe she was just a bit envious. I had no idea it was more serious than that.
  3. He liked me but she clearly wanted him bad. The guy and I started dating and we really enjoyed each other’s company. We had similar interests and future goals. It was perfect. Hmm. Maybe too perfect. Whenever we’d hang out in a group, I’d notice that my friend was a little too friendly and flirtatious with him but I tried to see it as harmless fun. I had no idea that she was really into him and was about to screw up our new relationship.
  4. He ended up dumping me and she was quick to dry my tears. One minute the guy and I were enjoying getting to know each other and the next he was spinning some excuse about not looking for anything serious. WTF? I turned to my friend, hoping to gain her sympathy. She confessed that the guy was a total jackass who’d been sleeping around behind my back. What? She would’ve told me sooner if she’d known, she said. I believed her and listened to her advice to get over him and move on with my life.
  5. Eventually, the truth came out about her. I was chatting to one of our mutual acquaintances one day about the guy and she said she had to tell me the truth about something. My so-called “friend” was the one who’d been screwing my boyfriend behind my back. WTF?
  6. I just didn’t get it. I was certain our mutual acquaintance was lying, but she had proof: she showed me texts my so-called “friend” had sent her about liking the guy I’d been dating. I couldn’t believe she’d do this to me and it was quite mind-boggling. If she liked him so much, why didn’t she just go out with him instead of dragging me into the situation?
  7. So much for the sister code. Maybe my frenemy was looking for a power trip. I started to notice how she was always flirting with loads of guys whenever she went out. She thrived on attention and loved seeing if she could get the guy she set her sights on. Why did it have to be mine, though? What about the freaking girl code? We’d been friends for years and she’d allowed some guy to get between us. She’d lied to me and treated me like dirt and I was furious.
  8. I realized I had to confront her. I told her about what I’d heard from our mutual acquaintance and she obviously denied everything, but I knew the truth and her denial just proved how toxic she really was. If she had any respect and love for me at all, she would’ve confessed. I was more hurt about our friendship being destroyed than about losing the guy.
  9. She tried to rekindle our “friendship.” In true frenemy style, this “friend” then put on the “Best Friend In The World” act. She became super kind and apologized over and over again for what had happened with the guy. Her excuse was that they’d had feelings for each other for years but she never expected it to become anything. Whatever.
  10. I operate by the “three strikes and you’re out” rule. She’d set me up with him when she’d secretly wanted him. Strike one! Then she’d slept with him behind my back when I was his girlfriend. Strike two! She’d lied to my face about it. Strike three! No, I just couldn’t make peace with any of this.
  11. I faded out the frenemy. I made myself too busy to go out with her whenever she invited me out, and slowly I managed to create more distance between us. Of course I missed her, but I don’t believe that we should’ve remained friends. She was poison and if I didn’t take her actions with this guy as a sign of how toxic she was, who knows what she could’ve done to me in future? I refused to stick around to find out. This bunny had to GTFO and save itself!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.