To The Friend Who Won’t Stop Trying To Set Me Up With Guys

Whenever I’m single, you try to set me up with guys — and the first ones you pick are usually guys I have nothing in common with and couldn’t possibly be attracted to, which is semi-infuriating. You’re my best friend — don’t you know me at all?

Just because he thinks I’m cute doesn’t mean we’re meant to be.

Whenever a guy tells you I’m hot and asks you about me, you try to set me up with him. I’ve gotten countless random adds from your FB friends and it needs to stop. Now.

Maybe I don’t want to date at all.

Just because I’m single and want to have a little fun doesn’t mean I need to be dating. I can be all by myself while I hang out with you, your future husband and all your coupled up friends and be perfectly fine with it.

And when I do, I can find my own guys, thanks.

I’m not hopeless. I know how to get a date all on my own and the good thing about not getting set up is that I get to pick the guys I date. If I want to be set up, I’ll ask. Until then, thanks but no thanks.

I love you, but I hate the guys you pick for me.

Every guy you try to set me up with is beyond the realm of my interest. I don’t want to date a guy I have zero interest in just because you’ve had a few nice conversations with him.

We’ve been friends for two decades, so why don’t you know my taste?

It’s like we haven’t been best friends for the last 20 years whenever you set me up with guys. You should know exactly what type of guy I’m looking for but you don’t — that’s why I can’t participate in any more of your set ups.

No. Just no.

For the love of god, I can’t even anymore. The last guy I dated because of your set-up skills landed me in a seriously toxic relationship so you’ll have to forgive me for staying away from any of the ‘good’ guys you think would treat me right.

You’re a great friend, but your matchmaking is horrendous.
Don’t quit your day job, bestie. You wouldn’t make a good matchmaker for me or anyone else. I know you’re just trying to spread some love but it’s not working, so you might want to rethink your approach.

You’ve been in a relationship for 7 years and the dating game has changed.

You’ve been happily attached since just after high school, so it’s safe to say that you don’t know anything about dating these days. You’re still amazing, but it’s like the blind leading the sighted.

I know what’s best for me.

I appreciate you trying to do what you can to help me out but I know what I need and when I need it. And for the time being, I don’t need any help in the dating department.

I’m happy being alone.

I may not always seem happy and I may not always be up for a night out with you and all your couple friends, but that doesn’t mean I’m not content with being alone. I don’t need a boyfriend and when I do, I’m sure he’s not going to be one you set me up with.

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