Opinion: If His Friends Are Douchebags, Chances Are He Is Too

While you can’t necessarily judge a book by its cover, you can judge people by the company they keep. If you’re interested in a guy, you should pay close attention to his friends because they tell you pretty much everything you need to know about him. If they’re solid guys who respect women (and everyone else they meet), that’s a good sign. If they’re douchebags, unfortunately, that means the guy you like probably is too. If that’s the case, here’s why you should probably cut the cord now:

  1. He’ll blow you off to hang out with them. He clearly doesn’t prioritize you over his friends, which is an immediate indication that he’s not going to last long-term. He can have a social life, but that doesn’t mean he can blow you off to hang out with his jerk friends. If he truly cares about you, he’ll dedicate enough time to the relationship. After all, the best way to strengthen your bond is by spending time together. If he’s not willing to do that, he clearly doesn’t see how awesome of a girl you are.
  2. There’s a good chance he’ll eventually adopt their crappy habits, if he hasn’t already. People mimic each other’s behavior, it’s human nature. If his friends are constantly having sex with girls on the first night and failing to keep in touch with them afterwards, chances are he’s going to feel the same about you. Watching his friends casually hook up with girls is going to cause him to crave the same amount of freedom. Be careful — his intentions could be very different than yours.
  3. Bros before hoes shouldn’t be his motto. If it is, he’s definitely not boyfriend material. For girls who are just looking to get laid, these kind of guys are great to have around. However, if you’re someone who’s tired of getting screwed over and is ready to settle down into a real relationship, it’s important to find a guy who feels the same and who surrounds himself with people who are on similar paths (or who would like to be). If he claims to be the one hopeless romantic in a group of players, call BS and get out quickly.
  4. If his friends are constantly screwing over girls, chances are he does too. It’s not guaranteed, but there is a high chance. Guys like to compete with one another, and there’s no better competition than fighting for the hottest girls. Men who are constantly hooking up and always avoiding relationships have issues with commitment. They may grow out of it, but do you really want to risk it?
  5. His friends are a reflection of his overall character. When you’re around them, do you immediately feel uncomfortable? If so, you probably have a reason to be. People who give off negative vibes can’t be trusted, and if that’s the case, you probably won’t ever really be able to trust him, either. That’s not really a recipe for relationship success, is it?
  6. If his friends don’t respect you, don’t expect him to. He’s learned from the best (just kidding). You shouldn’t surround yourself with people who don’t value your worth. As soon as you feel them rejecting you, turn the other direction and find yourself some better friends. You’ll be thankful you did.
  7. You should be his top priority, no matter what. Call me crazy, but if a guy doesn’t treat you like you actually mean something to him and his life, he’s not worth your time. If he can’t keep plans with you, you should find another guy who values your presence. He can have a social life without blowing you off all the time.
  8. You deserve the best. Many girls need to hear this. We grow up in a culture that doesn’t respect our womanhood and fails to promote healthy relationships. Don’t let the social atmosphere affect your dating life. Understand that not everyone is going to see your worth, but eventually, the right person will come along.
  9. If you don’t fit in his group, it’s probably for the best. Trust your instincts because they’re rarely wrong. You should be able to hang out with him and his friends, not just him. When you’re in a relationship, you’re blending your lives together, and that includes your friend groups. If they don’t blend well, accept that not everyone works out and look for something more worthwhile.
  10. Trust your judgment. Is it ever wrong? If he’s absolutely amazing but his friends are crappy, ask him why. Maybe there’s a reason he keeps them around. If he doesn’t know how to respond, however, maybe he’s not as great as you thought he was. Sucks to say, but it’s better to not live in denial.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia