You’ve recently fallen for what you believe is the perfect man, but the more you bring your new boyfriend around your friends and family, the more uncertain you’re feeling about the relationship. Especially at the start of a romantic relationship, it’s difficult to view things with a clear lens. Here are some subtle (and not so subtle) actions and phrases your friends and family will throw out that indicate your boyfriend’s not as great as he seems and it’s time to move on to somebody new.
Anxiety and uneasy feelings take over during family gatherings. If things between you and your guy are starting to get serious, meeting each other’s families is definitely a way to test the waters as to whether or not the relationship will work out. It’s normal to feel a little nervous about bringing your boyfriend to family events. However, if the mere thought of doing so gives you a straight-up panic attack, that’s a clear sign a long-term relationship isn’t what’s best.
He doesn’t get along with the people you’re closest to. A healthy relationship is a delicate balance of both social and romantic aspects of each other’s lives. The relationships your boyfriend develops with your closest friends and family members is a great way to know whether or not he’s “The One.” If there’s a noticeable tension between your boyfriend and everyone else in your life, it’s a pretty clear sign the relationship isn’t healthy for you and it’s time to move on.
He talks negatively about your family. When you’re dating somebody, it should feel like your loved ones accept them as another family member the more they get to know him. Sometimes it’s difficult to see flaws in a romantic relationship, but pay attention to the way your guy talks about your parents behind their backs. If his talk is all negative with nothing good to say, it’s a sign he doesn’t have an interest in developing a loving relationship with your family. He may even be trying to isolate you from them, which is a red flag and a sign of a potentially abusive relationship.
Your friend group doesn’t want to hang out with him. If you have a tight circle of friends that you know, and trust, including your boyfriend to the group should be exciting and seamless. You shouldn’t feel stressed or forced to choose between your friends or your boyfriend. If you find your friend group making plans explicitly stating they don’t want him to accompany the squad, it’s their hint that they disapprove.
Your parents continuously ask if you’re sure he’s the right person for you. Remember, your parents have already gone through everything you’re currently experiencing in your relationship and can often see flaws in your romantic partners before you do. So, if you notice your family repeatedly asks, “Are you sure he’s The One?” it’s their way of sneakily hinting you need to reconsider just how serious the relationship is.
You’d rather spend the holidays without him. The holidays are meant to be a special occasion, allowing you to make memories with all the people you love and care about at the same time. If your family purposely doesn’t invite your boyfriend to family Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc., it’s an indicator they’re not too fond of him. And if bringing him along for these occasions will add unnecessary drama to your life, it’s a sign it’s time to leave him behind.
You notice your loved ones continuously check in on you. When your family and friends repeatedly check up on how you’re really doing, remember it’s with good intentions and is not meant to offend you. They’re likely making sure you’re finding genuine happiness with your partner because they’ve noticed a change in your usual personality. Don’t hesitate to take advice from the ones that know you best!
They blatantly say they don’t like him. This one’s pretty straightforward, but sometimes (most times), love is blind and you need a slap in the face to make yourself aware of what’s really going on in your relationship. If your closest friends are honest enough with you to express how they really feel about your guy, it’s best to push your pride aside and listen.
Your family and friends don’t ask about him. Now, I’m not saying your family should love your boyfriend as much as you do, but they’ll at least show some interest if they like him. If your family never asks about your beau or attempts to get to know him better, it may be a subtle hint they drop to express their disapproval.
Your gut’s telling you to move on. When there’s any feeling of doubt in the back of your mind, listen to it! Your gut knows best. And if your family drops hints he’s not the right guy for you or there’s something off, remember that they have a clearer perspective looking from the outside in. Don’t be afraid to admit it’s time to move on and find someone better. After all, you only deserve the best!