If Your Family & Friends Hate Your Boyfriend, There’s A Reason

You love your boyfriend but no one else does. You just wish everyone around you would support your relationship and yet no one is on your side. Maybe it’s time for you to take a step back and consider why that is.

  1. Sometimes you need an outside perspective. You’re too close to the situation. Have you ever considered that they see something you don’t? Outside perspectives can actually give you a lot of insight if you let them. You can’t just brush everything your loved ones say under the rug. There’s a reason that the people you love and who love you most don’t support your relationship. Open up your ears and your mind and just be willing to listen.
  2. It can be the two of you against the world, but that’s not going to be easy. If the only people who support the relationship are you and your partner, you’re going to feel pretty alone. What happens when you’re in a fight? If you go to your friends and family, they might be there for you but deep down you know they’ll be thinking that they told you so. When it’s you and your guy against the world, just remember you’re leaving a lot of people behind.
  3. You might just be blinded by love. If you like a guy, it can be tempting to look past his flaws or his baggage. You might just be letting your heart cloud your judgment. He’s not perfect — no man is — so take a moment to think about that. Really let his flaws sink in and consider exactly why no one else seems to be for this relationship. Sometimes love can blind you, and that’s why your loved ones are trying to step in, to make you see.
  4. They’re using their protective instincts. They love you and that’s why it’s their first instinct to protect you. If your friends and family aren’t looking out for you, just how much do they really care? Don’t hate them for doing what they think is right. At the end of they day, they have good intentions. They don’t like him because they don’t trust him to love you like they do.
  5. You don’t necessarily know what’s (or who’s) best for you. No matter how old you are, you’re never going to have every aspect of life figured out. Life is a learning process. You figure stuff out day by day, so just because you’re an adult and you can do whatever you want doesn’t mean what you want is what’s best for you. Sometimes you need to take a step back and listen to someone who may be a bit wiser.
  6. No one wants you to make a mistake that you’re going to regret. There are some mistakes in life that you just can’t come back from, or at least that will set your life way off track. Your friends and family obviously think that this relationship is a mistake, and maybe they’re speaking from experience. Being with the wrong guy or even simply getting your heart broken can leave you devastated, so ask yourself if he’s really a good guy or just a mistake you’re going to regret.
  7. Heartbreak does serious damage. Saying that getting your heart broken is excruciatingly painful would be an understatement. It’s painful to see someone you love go through that pain and that’s why your loved ones aren’t supporting the relationship. They don’t want you to end up alone and broken. They’ll be there no matter what but if they’re also doing anything in their power to prevent your heartbreak.
  8. Look at their lack of support in a different way. They’re not supporting your relationship, but they are supporting YOU. Your friends and family are always rooting for you to succeed no matter what. It’s good that you have people in your life (other than your boyfriend) who actually care. You might want their undying support but in the end, it’s better to have someone looking out for you.
  9. Maybe he’s what you want, but the people you love can see what you need. Sometimes what you want isn’t necessarily what’s best for you. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’re actually good for you or even right for you. Love isn’t always enough. Love doesn’t conquer all. If he can’t give you what you need, then he’s just not worth it.
  10. They should be able to tell you the truth. If your friends and family can’t tell you what they truly think, then how close are you really? You can’t get angry with people every time they tell you something you don’t want to hear. They’re not just going to agree with every decision you make. Wouldn’t you rather know the truth now than find out after a breakup that no one thought he was good enough for you?
  11. At the end of the day, they just want you to be happy. Maybe you think you’re happy but everyone thinks they’re happy during the honeymoon stage. Eventually, those beginning sparks fade and reality sets in. Does he make you happy for right now or could you actually be happy with him forever? It’s time to look at the bigger picture because if he’s not “the one” then you’re just wasting time.
  12. If everyone is against you, maybe they have a point. Play devil’s advocate. Put yourself in their shoes and consider if you would be happy with a friend or family member dating this guy. One person doesn’t like your relationship and maybe it’s just their problem, but if no one who knows and loves you supports it then maybe the problem isn’t them — it’s him.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.