If My Friends Hate You, Our Relationship Isn’t Going To Work Out

If My Friends Hate You, Our Relationship Isn’t Going To Work Out ©iStock/Petar Chernaev

The Spice Girls said it best — “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Relationships come and go, but my friendships will last forever. My girls are my life, so if my friends hate you, there’s no chance you’ll be sticking around.

  1. They’re a part of me. They’ve been with me through thick and the thin and my friends know me inside and out. If they’ve been in my life this long, they’re a part of whom I am, so if you don’t like all of me, then you won’t get even a fraction of my time.
  2. After all these years, the friends I still have are family. This isn’t high school anymore and I’m past the college drama. The friends that are still around will be around for a lifetime. Your friendships might be casual, but mine are the real deal. They’re not going anywhere, so you’re the removable piece to this equation.
  3. If you care about me, you should care about who I love. So why aren’t you trying harder with my friends? What’s important to me should be important to you. Let’s get to the problem of why they hate you. Were you rude to them? Did you imply that I was just a fling? Are you actually just a loser? The problem here isn’t my girls, it’s you.
  4. They only want what’s best for me. They have my best interest at heart, so why don’t they think you do? If they hate you, then it’s pretty damn clear that you did something to deserve it. My friends would never put their happiness before my own, so if they say you’re bad news bears, shouldn’t I listen?
  5. I’m just as protective over them. If they hate you, it’s because they don’t think you’re right for me. Further than that, they don’t think you treat me right. You might have me fooled, but my friends can see past your baby blue eyes to catch a glimpse at your inner loser.
  6. I’d never choose a guy over my girls. So don’t make me. They’re not giving me an ultimatum, but if they hate you, then they’re not going to want you around. That means I’d constantly be choosing to hang out with you or with them. When they bring their boyfriends around, I’d know that everyone would wish that I hadn’t brought you. If you can’t find a way to get along with my friends, then I’ll get along just fine without you.
  7. I’ve been burned before. My friends have always been there, but you haven’t. I’ve had relationships before, and surprise, surprise, they didn’t work out. When the walls came crumbling down, guess who was there to pick up the pieces? My friends. I know better than to give up my girls for a man. You can’t guarantee that a man will love you forever, but I know my friends will always be there.
  8. I value my friends’ opinions. I know they don’t expect to make my decisions for me. My opinion on my life always matters most, but if they’re feeling strongly enough about you to bring their opinion to my attention, then I’m obviously missing something. They’re my best friends and I’d trust them with my life, and that’s a hell of a lot more than I can say for you.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.