My Friends Keep Me Away From Their Boyfriends But Not For The Reason You Think

We all have that one friend that has no filter whatsoever and makes everyone feel awkward as hell. That’s me. I’m not a vindictive person, but I will call out my own friends when necessary, and this is one of the big reasons they keep me away from their relationships.

  1. I comment on contradictions within their relationships. They want an equal partner with full respect and appreciation but they also love to play the damsel in distress card to get whatever they want. They want a trustworthy partner but they also ask me to come up with believable lies to feed them. It’s a thankless job but I always give my friends a reality check. If it takes a blunt comment about how fragile their relationship clearly is, so be it!
  2. I force my friends to live in reality. It’s far too easy to get caught up in the unrealistic expectations we create inside our heads. It’s also easy for a guy to recognize what easy targets hopeless romantic women can be. I’ve been the villain and called out a guy that was making empty promises and whispering sweet nothings into a friend’s ear. She was too hopeful to see through his foolishness. At the time, she totally regretted introducing us; in hindsight, she’s grateful I don’t have a filter.
  3. I think everyone should be against wasting time and energy. I personally hate going with the flow when I know nothing is going to become of it. Some of my friends are more optimistic than I am. They tend to see everything as a learning experience, even if that learning experience is dating someone who’s emotionally unavailable and selfish. I’m always down to learn more but not to feel underappreciated. If I was setting myself up for disappointment, I’d expect a friend to intervene too.
  4. I’ve once told a guy he deserved better than my friend. They were clearly on two different pages within their relationship. He wanted to take her to his mother’s birthday dinner and she just didn’t want to finish out college single and lonely like she started out. He was thinking of the future and she was thinking of Mr. Right Now. I told him she was focused on her Instagram likes with a handsome stud as her arm candy. The three of us are still somehow friends after that drama.
  5. I seem like a better option to guys who prefer transparency. Some of my friends can give their boyfriends a migraine with their indecisiveness and minced words. I’ve had friends get jealous when their dates asked for my honest opinion on touchy topics. They know I’ll give them the unfiltered truth and never tiptoe out of fear of hurting their feelings. Despite popular belief, plenty of people would rather be privy to someone’s genuine thoughts. I respect people too much to only tell them what they would like to hear. Keeping it real is often compared to having a heart-to-heart and no one wants me to do that with their boyfriends.
  6. I have no problem telling guys they don’t deserve my friends. I can understand being young, dumb, and inexperienced in most things, but I can’t understand dating a guy that’s a carbon copy of your horrible ex. One of my friends started a relationship immediately after ending one. This new guy was behaving like he was God’s gift to women for no apparent reason. He put in zero effort to learn who she was as a person and expected to always have her undivided attention. Besides actually having a stable job, this guy was exactly like her ungrateful ex. Of course I told him exactly that—in front of our entire friend group.
  7. I openly demand their boyfriends to be more vulnerable. It’s pretty common to be unsure how a guy truly feels at times. Pride can prevent a guy from telling his girlfriend how he felt when she suddenly canceled their date or failed to return his call right away. No one enjoys appearing needy but it happens. When a friend is dating a guy that keeps his emotions bottled up inside, I don’t hesitate to give my unwanted advice. “Tell her what’s really up!” I suggest (aggressively) over a few glasses of wine. This usually leads to the couple having a drunk argument and then having makeup sex. The morning after is always filled with clarity—good or bad—all thanks to me.
  8. I struggle to understand why people carelessly date. At the end of the day, my friends are all grown adults entitled to learn their own mistakes. I have a strong protective instinct for all those I care about, so naturally I try to prevent their disappointments. As a completely open book, I’ve admitted this to my friends. They wish I could chill out about what’s wrong or right. I should just focus on my own love life and heartache, and that would be easily done if I actually had heartache to deal with. Since I’m known as Ms. No Filter, I never have confusing relationships with men.
A sassy millennial living in downtown Columbus Ohio. Goes by the nickname "Cray", and loves wine, giving unsolicited advice, and writing. Occasionally a mixture of all the above to keep things extra interesting. Follow on twitter @Cray_theLeo