Throughout my life, I’ve always struggled with maintaining good friendships with other women. They’ve either never liked me or never understood me, and drama seems to follow me no matter how hard I try to avoid it. At this point, I think I’ve given up on trying to be friends with women, and here’s why.
I’m removing all the toxic energy from my life. I’ve had my fair share of toxic friendships and literally all of them have been with women. I’m so over trying to make crappy, toxic friendships work, especially when I end up giving way more than I get in return. I’m too old to keep unhealthy friendships alive, and I know that the ones worth keeping around will always stick with me.
I hate drama. No offense, but women can be seriously dramatic. I know that because I am one. However, drama just doesn’t fly with me anymore. I hate pettiness and gossip, and that stuff always seems to come with friendships with women. When I try to distance myself from it, the friends seem to go with it. Though losing friends sucks, my life is way more simple and peaceful without the drama, and that’s what I care about the most.
My best friends are guys. I didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s just so happened that the healthiest friendships I’ve had were with guys. A lot of my interests are typically more “masculine,” so I guess we just click better. Plus, guys don’t (usually) care about drama, and I feel like I can say anything without offending them. It just feels more natural to me and I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on having girlfriends.
I’ve always been a lone wolf. Girls love doing everything in packs, whether it’s going to the bathroom, getting ready, or eating. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more comfortable with myself or I just hate the feeling of being judged, but most of the time, I prefer to do those things alone. Some women don’t understand that, though. When I choose to do things by myself instead of with my friends, they tend to take it personally. At the end of the day, my extreme introversion wins and I’m fine with that.
I’m not into typically “girly” things. I’ve never felt very drawn to the stereotypically feminine things. Watching The Bachelor is the last way I want to spend my Monday nights. I’ll never understand the appeal of rom-coms, cheesy sitcoms (ahem, Gilmore Girls), or reality TV. Girls I’ve been friends with don’t understand that. In the past, my friends have perceived my different interests as me being “too good” for the things they enjoy, and that just isn’t the case.
I hate feeling judged. Women can be very judgmental, and no matter how long you’ve known each other, they can make it pretty obvious. To many women today, looks and material things mean everything. If you don’t fit in with their standards, they don’t like you. I hate feeling like I’m not good enough. With most of the girls I’ve been friends with in the past, that was very common.
I grew up with sisters. My three sisters are my best friends and I couldn’t ask for better. Growing up, I was able to say anything to them, and friends don’t handle that as well as family members do. Sisters are built-in best friends, which are the best kind. They have to like you no matter how weird you are (and chances are, they’re just as weird as you)! I guess having them around spoiled me because no friend I’ve ever had has been as good as one of my sisters.
I have my priorities straight. As I’m getting older I’m realizing what’s important to me. Nursing fake or dying friendships has no place in my life anymore. Looking “cool” or having the right girlfriends just doesn’t matter to me like it did when I was younger. I now know that with friends, quality over quantity rules, and I’d much rather have one or two amazing friends than a bunch of mediocre ones.
Of course, I love the girlfriends I have. My girlfriends are the most amazing, compassionate, honest, and loving people I’ve ever met. I feel so lucky to have friends like them in my life. When I look back on my best friendships, it’s the ones that happened totally naturally, not the ones I tried hardest to create. We worked hard to strengthen the bonds we have and I don’t feel the need to try to keep average friendships alive when I have friends as good as them.
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