Friends With Benefits: 12 Rules For Sex Without Commitment

Just because you aren’t in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be celibate. That’s why the idea of “friends with benefits” was invented, after all. Guys shouldn’t get to have a monopoly on sex without a commitment – girls have needs, too! While there are always exceptions to some rules, it’s a good idea to have a loose strategy in mind to keep your hookup buddy as just that and keep your emotions out of the picture.

  1. Make sure you both want the same thing. If you want this arrangement to be ongoing, it’s best to be sure he isn’t looking for a serious girlfriend. You don’t want to have to dodge his attempts at wooing you, now do you?
  2. Stay safe. Even if you’re on the pill, you need to use a condom. You don’t know what (or who) he’s doing when he’s not with you, so it’s up to you to protect yourself.
  3. Don’t sleep over. After you guys are finished, he’s probably counting the seconds until you walk out the door and he can get in a round of Call of Duty. Don’t overstay your welcome.
  4. Make sure sex is the main event. There’s no need to go on a long, drawn out date neither of you wants to be on and then pretend to watch a movie while he inches closer and closer to you. You aren’t 15, so get to the point.
  5. Don’t bother playing hard to get. This should be a mutually beneficial situation. Playing games is just a waste of time.
  6. Be spontaneous. What’s the point in having meaningless sex if you can’t get it when the mood strikes? Never be afraid to pick up the phone – girls can make booty calls, too.
  7. Don’t over-think it. Save the deep text analysis for a guy you actually want to see fully clothed. For now, relax and enjoy the ride, so to speak.
  8. Pay attention to his signals. If he asks you to grab dinner that involves anything more than a take out menu or running to the hot dog stand on the corner, the spell has been broken. He’ll be asking you to meet his mom soon if you aren’t careful.
  9. Try something new. Always wanted to show up unannounced wearing a trench coat, high heels and nothing else? Read a new tip in Cosmo that seems doable-ish? Your FWB is down.
  10. Don’t get too personal. He doesn’t need to know your life story. Nip that post-sex pillow talk in the bud and just go home.
  11. Don’t use FWB as a stepping stone to a relationship. You shouldn’t let the guy you’ve been in love with for the last 2 years talk you into a casual relationship. It’s a hit it and quit it situation. If you aren’t okay with that, don’t do it.
  12. Know when it’s run its course. This was never meant to be a long-term thing, so don’t be the girl that keeps texting him naughty pictures when he has a girlfriend.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo