If Your Friendship Hasn’t Reached These 11 Milestones, It’s Not Real Yet

You might think your friendship is of the “ride or die” variety, but it might not be. If you haven’t reached these 11 friendship milestones, sorry, but you’re not quite BFF just yet.

  1. You’ve made an emergency call in the middle of the night. Everyone needs someone to call when something bad happens, whether that’s a burst pipe or a relative who’s in the ER. If your friend hasn’t been the one to call you during bad times or you haven’t reached out to her and needed her support in the early hours, then who are you guys turning to? It could be other, more serious friends.
  2. You’ve called each other when times were awesome. It’s not just about having a friend you can count on when you really need support and help. A true friendship will have happy times too. If you’re not calling your friend to pop your best bottle of champagne, you’re not really BFF.
  3. You’ve shared your most embarrassing stories. Does your friend know about the time you tripped and fell right in front of your crush? Do you know about the time she stalked her ex? Best friends support each other instead of saying things like “I told you so.” A genuine friend won’t rub your embarrassing moments and mistakes in your face. If you don’t share embarrassing things that have happened to you with your friend and it’s because she’s guilty of the above, that’s not a friend—you have a frenemy.
  4. You’ve shared juice about the guys you’re dating. Some friends like to keep their relationship private, and that’s cool. But come on, you’ll at least want to share the juice with your closest friend. After all, you need someone to brag to about how amazing the sex is, right?
  5. You’ve had a big fight. If you’ve been friends for many years but you’ve never spoken up when you’ve been hurt by each other, then you’re bottling up your emotions instead of getting yourselves heard. The saddest thing about this is that you’re both probably moaning about each other to your other respective friends.
  6. You’ve seen each other do the ugly cry. You should feel comfortable to be who you are and feel your most intense emotions around your friend. If your friend hasn’t seen you really let loose and sob, then you’re missing out on having a much more emotionally intimate relationship.
  7. You’ve forgiven each other. It sucks to hold a grudge in your friendship. You always have that feeling that the friendship is never quite where it should be. If you’ve gone through difficult times with your friend but you’ve come out on the other side of that and forgiven each other, you can bet that your friendship is much stronger than it was before.
  8. You’ve supported each other’s success. It’s easier to find a friend who supports you when you’re going through a tough time than it is to find a friend who supports you when you’re having the best day of your life. The latter’s when you know you’ve got the real deal: someone who’s supportive and wishes you well instead of envies you or tries to take you down with a nasty comment.
  9. You’ve seen and accepted each other’s flaws. Everyone has flaws. Your friend might be really picky and difficult to deal with at times, whereas you might be a tad too controlling. Whatever the case, casual friends don’t get to see each other’s flaws because they keep things friendly and light. If you’ve seen your friend’s flaws and they’ve driven you crazy but then you’ve grown to accept (and maybe even like) them, then you know you’ve got a real friendship.
  10. You’ve been in different situations and it didn’t break you. So many friendships fall apart when friends enter different life phases, like if one person gets into a relationship and the other remains single. It’s sad, but this is the true test of a friendship. If you and your friend have been pulled into different directions in life, whether emotionally or geographically, but it has made you grow even closer, then you’re much more than friends. You’re sisters.
  11. You’ve kept each other a priority. There’s always that fear that your friend will stop prioritizing your friendship as much as you do. This can happen in different ways. Maybe she gets a new guy and you never hear from her again, or perhaps she gets new friends and they’re not exactly your type. But if you love each other so much that you always make time for each other, no matter what’s happening, then you’re definitely meant to be BFFs for life.


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.