Being a single woman means slogging through endless bad first dates and wondering if it’s even possible to go on a good one. The truth is that while you’ll definitely meet a lot of frogs in your search for The One, there really are decent guys out there. If you’re looking for a gentleman, look no further than the guy who does these things on a first date.
He lets you order first. Sure, this might seem like a small thing, but it’s really not. A guy who lets you order a drink or dinner first proves that he’s kind and considerate and that he’s also patient. Those are all qualities that you want in your future boyfriend.
He asks how your day was. The best first dates start off with a bit of small talk. While you might be totally afraid of talking about things like your day at work or the weather because you think that’s going to make things boring, that’s really not the case. There’s nothing wrong with chatting a bit to break the ice. A guy who asks how your day was honestly wants to know the answer, and he wants to get to know you better. This is a great opportunity to bring up something funny that happened to you or mention a cool project that you’re working on.
He asks the right kind of questions. He doesn’t just ask where you grew up and if you’re doing a job that makes you happy. He asks about your dreams and your favorites. He legitimately wants to know what kind of person you are and you can tell that he’s interested. It’s honestly the best feeling, especially after all those epic bad dates with guys who just stared at you blankly when you said that you love your career. Next.
He spends a few hours with you. A guy who is the opposite of a gentleman (aka a total and utter jerk) will give you an hour and then bail, acting like he’s got a busy social calendar and is too cool to really get to know you. A gentleman will respect you enough to give you at least two hours and will make sure that he spends enough time with you to see if he wants to go out again. It’s a huge difference.
He listens more than he talks. Say goodbye to guys who talk constantly about their financial jobs and gym days and where they want to travel this summer. Say hello to a gentleman who is fascinated by everything that you have to say and can’t wait to hear what you say next. This guy is going to listen more than he talks, and you might even have to ask more questions than you’re used to on dates to make sure that things are fair and balanced. After all, you love that he’s listening, but of course you want to get to know him, too. That’s the whole point.
He seems like he wants to impress you. It’s pretty adorable when a guy wants to make a good first impression on you. Even though he might think that he’s playing it cool, you can totally tell. Whether he’s pulling out all the stops with his funniest childhood stories or getting nostalgic and sentimental, you know that he’s hoping that you think that he’s pretty awesome.
He insists on paying. There may be a massive debate on whether or not the guy should pay on the first date. Some women think that guys should absolutely pay because it’s the right thing to do. Others think that it’s insulting because of course women are making their own money. Even if you usually suggest splitting it, you have to admit that it’s a total gentleman move when a guy really wants to treat you to a few drinks. It proves that he cares about seeming nice and that he wants you to like him.
He walks you home (or at least to your Uber). You might not want a guy to walk you home after a first date, which is totally legit considering how creepy dating apps can be sometimes. But a gentleman will definitely walk you to the subway or at least offer to do so. He just wants to make sure that you get home safely. He can’t help it—it’s in the gentleman’s handbook.
He says he had a great time with you. A man-child would never admit this, even if it was true. He would never put his cards on the table like that. A gentleman wants you to know exactly how much fun he had with you, and chances are, he’s going to look super cute while saying it.
He says he wants to see you again. The final sign that you’ve finally met a gentleman? He tells you straight up—no BS, no games—that he wants to go out with you again. You won’t have to go home wondering if that text is going to come and you won’t have to overthink things at all. It’ll be a huge relief and the best thing ever… because you just might have finally met your ideal match.
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