Get It Off Your Chest: Things You Should Say During a Breakup

Breakups are never fun, regardless of who initiated what. It can be difficult to know what to say or awkward to say much of anything at all, depending on the circumstances, but hold up a sec. This is your one chance – actually, likely your last chance – to finally get a few things off your chest. Don’t miss this opportunity – say what needs to be said, especially if you’re the one hitting the brakes on the relationship.

  1. “Can I get my key back?” If you were living together and one of you were in the apartment/house first, you’re going to have to give/get your key back. Time to cut the cord.
  2. “We’re breaking up because…” Make it very clear why things are ending. Don’t play the whodunnit game or beat around the bush about why this thing is over. Make it clear that there are specific issues at play, and that the relationship has run its course.
  3. “It was really messed up when…” Some people might think it’s petty to bring up specific crappy things your boyfriend did in his day, but try and view it as constructive and you’ll be less likely to lash out. The problem with breaking up with someone is that we’re often told to keep quiet, to put our heads down and to just not talk to them. However, that will probably leave with pent up frustrations that slow down your recovery process, so just be frank.
  4. “Don’t call or text me for a while.” Sometimes it’s harder on one person than it is on the other to go without talking for a while, especially when you’ve decided to stay friends. If you need some time (or if they do), then clear the air and have that conversation before you end up treading on some already very sore toes.
  5. “I’d like us to eventually be…” Friends? Enemies? Acquaintances? How do you want to eventually see your relationship with this person? It’ll all depend on the reasons you broke up in the first place, but it’s good to clear the air so that you both understand where you each stand.
  6. “I’m going to have my mom get my stuff this weekend.” There’s nothing worse than your exes friend coming over with your stuff, or when you find all your stuff (including your favorite sweater) lying out on the patio. The added drama does no one any favors.
  7. “They’re my friends, too!” We all make couple-friends when we’re in relationship for extended periods of time, and it can be hard to know whose friend they’ll stay after a breakup. Obviously, your friends will want to stay friends with both of you, but it might not always be possible.
  8. “Who gets the goldfish?” If you’ve gotten a pet together, decide on who has become more attached to it/is able to afford to keep it.
  9. “We had some good times.” It can’t have always been bad. There was a reason you were together in the first place, so don’t forget to mention those reasons. It’ll help remind you that you didn’t waste your time, but it’ll always squash any nagging bad feelings in both of you.
  10. “I’m sorry.” Whether you decide to stay friends or not, it doesn’t do anyone any good to leave things on a bad note. It’s good to say you’re sorry for any hurt you might have caused, for any names you may or may not have called each other.
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik