The hard part about crushes is that we often can’t help who we have feelings for. However, if you know yourself well enough, it shouldn’t be hard to nip things in the bud. When you know a guy is all wrong for you, that’s usually the best maneuver. Otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be hurt in the future. Here are some good ways to get rid of your feelings.
- Focus on the negative. That sounds terrible since you should try to be as positive and optimistic as possible in life. But when it comes to ending a crush, it’s a great method. He may be cute, but think about how he has a bad habit of talking over you. It’s possible you have a lot in common, but think about what you don’t. For example, if you’re both on different sides politically, there’s probably a lot you’ll disagree on as the relationship progresses. Might as well not even entertain the thought.
- Stop spending time with him. The more time you spend with him, the more you’ll fuel your crush. Try not to be rude and cancel plans if they were made ahead, but consider booking your social calendar with other events for some time. Also, by putting yourself out there, you’re more likely to meet someone who’s a much better match.
- Be honest. If the two of you were close to making it official, it makes sense to tell him why you won’t progress. It’s a tough conversation to have, but it’s a lot better than ghosting — especially if you want to be his friend later on. Something like “I feel like we’re so different” might work. You can tell him that you’re not in a good spot for a relationship with him. He may keep his distance after hearing the news, which will make things easier. Let him move on and find someone who’s a better match.
- Browse Tinder. If not Tinder, another dating site. The best way to get over someone is to remind yourself that you’re single. Even if you don’t end up contacting any of the guys you see, it’ll remind you that there are plenty of people out there. If you’re not messaging other people, ask yourself why. If it’s because you’re still hung up on the guy who’s a bad match for you, it makes sense to be hesitant. Give it a week and see if you’re ready to move on then.
- Take a mini-vacation. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. Just get some of your best girlfriends together and plan a fun destination over the weekend. Take your mind off the guy altogether. If his number is saved in your phone, get rid of it. Use the trip as a milestone of the time you successfully moved out and found healthier people to spend time with.
- Don’t immediately answer back. If the two of you text, don’t jump at the chance to get back at him. Let it simmer for a bit. That way, you’re tricking your brain into categorizing him as “not your top priority.” Unless it’s urgent, or an emergency, you can take your time with it. If you’re up all night answering back, you’re going to fall for him even more.
- Vow to stay single for a few months. Being single isn’t all that bad. In fact, if you’ve just been mindlessly dating for some time, you may want to take a break altogether. Don’t look at apps, don’t expect your guy friends to help you with things around the house, and don’t actively look. Find happiness in yourself. When you choose to start looking again, you’ll find that it’s a lot easier since you’ve already found peace and happiness in yourself.
- Imagine them on the toilet. It’s childish, yes, but it works. If you think a guy is hot but know that his personality is terrible, just imagine him in the bathroom. Your thoughts will go out the window immediately. Yes, going to the bathroom is a normal function that everyone should do, but it may be one of the least sexy acts in existence.
- Let your friends talk you out of it. If you know this guy is bad news, chances are your friends agree. Maybe he’s a guy who always ends up cheating on his girlfriend. Or maybe he’s a little too flirty with other women when he’s attached. No matter what it may be, clue your friends in and let them dissuade you. When you factor in the fact that pursuing this guy will cause your friends to jeer, you’ll be less likely to do it.