There seems to be a lot of rules about sex, and in particular how long you should wait before having it with someone—I’m not a fan of any of them. I believe in getting sex out of the way as quickly as possible, which usually means putting out on the first date.
We’re going to have sex eventually, so why not now? It doesn’t make sense to me keep waiting to sleep with someone I’m genuinely attracted to simply because of faux morals or social rules. If I can see us having sex at some point in the future, then there’s no point in abstaining from it on the first date if we’re both willing and able to get naked together.
I don’t want to waste time getting to know someone who’s terrible in bed. If you’ve ever met someone who seemed perfect for you and spent weeks or months getting to know them only to get hit with the reality that they’re simply horrible in bed, you know how hurtful that reality check can be. You’ve wasted time you can’t get back, things get awkward, and you want to resent them for it. All this stress, disappointment, and hurt could have been avoided if you’d simply taken it to the sheets immediately after you met. Let’s face it, even a great personality can’t fix or make up for trash sex.
I have a pretty high sex drive and I don’t want to repress it. My libido is very high, which means that when I’m not having sex, I’m preoccupied with thinking about it. I’m always looking forward to my next orgasm and I won’t pass up on a good opportunity to have one (or multiple). Why should I try to repress my sexual urges when I could just ask my date if they want to help me fulfill them? The worst that could happen is having my offer turned down. Either way, I’m going to get off with or without them.
It’s important to know how sexually compatible we are. I actively enjoy having sex. It’s very important to me—so important that I can’t contemplate being with someone who doesn’t match my sex drive or someone with whom sex just doesn’t feel as great. The only thing waiting down that road is frustration and ain’t nobody got time for that. The earlier I can tell how well we work in bed, the better for everyone involved.
It lowers the chances of creating false chemistry. Sometimes, there appears to be a lot of sexual tension and attraction between two people, when in fact there’s next to nothing. By having sex on the first date, I can tell when my mind is just playing tricks on me and the chemistry I thought was present doesn’t actually exist. If my clothes come off and they touch my body and my insides don’t start screaming, I know it’s time to call it quits.
You see a person for who they really are when you have sex with them. Horniness or the desire to sleep with a person can cloud people’s judgment and make them behave in ways that they wouldn’t normally. Once that desire has been fulfilled, they reveal their true selves and I can now decide if I still like what I see or not.
I’m too grown to be playing unnecessary dating games. We’re not in high school anymore, where everyone had to hide their attractions to the opposite sex. I’m a grown woman and I have needs. I know what I want and when I want it, therefore I’m going to go out and get it without delay. Doing so isn’t going to affect something that’s meant to be.
It helps make intentions clearer. Some people date you simply because they’re trying to hit it and quit it and they’re not mature enough to simply own up to it and lay all their cards on the table. Others are genuinely interested in starting something special with you and sex is just a bonus rather than their sole purpose. I don’t have to wait three months or some other ridiculous period of time to find out where they stand either way.
I don’t attach value to sex, so I don’t feel the need to withhold it for any reason. The ugly truth is that sex is still being touted as something men take from women, like a currency that loses its value if exchanged too quickly. I refuse to be bound by primitive, patriarchal ideals. Anyone who would think less of me for exercising my sexual liberty by having sex on the first date is exactly the kind of person I want nothing to do with.
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