How To Get Through A Breakup Like The Grown Woman You Are

Ending a relationship is rarely easy, even if it was your decision, and sometimes breakups can get downright ugly. While you might be pissed, heartbroken, and feel like you’ve been betrayed by love, the last thing you want is to make things even more dramatic. You’re a grown woman, so act like it during your breakup, too.

Accept that the relationship just wasn’t meant to be. Of course it’s devastating when another loser breaks your heart, but you should realize that the relationship wasn’t meant for you in the long run — otherwise, why would it be ending? Don’t allow herself to wallow in sadness for too long before embracing the fact that your real love story has yet to begin. This obviously wasn’t it, so screw that.

Tell him how you feel, but don’t embarrass yourself. If you have something to say about the breakup or his behavior, do so, but don’t let it turn into a screaming match. You don’t need to save face and let the anger build up inside of you — after all, the best way to make a clean break is to get things off your chest and move forward with a clean slate.

Vent to your BFFs in private, not on your Facebook page. A grown woman doesn’t post cryptic and passive aggressive Facebook statuses as a means to resolving her frustrations about the breakup. She doesn’t post sappy and sad song lyrics to draw attention to her sadness in her online world. She drinks wine and cries in private with her girlfriends, and then she goes out and paints the town red with her badass freshly single glow. Act accordingly.

Use the experience to fuel your future successes. Beyonce once said, “Whenever I feel bad, I use that feeling to motivate me to work harder. I only allow myself a day to feel sorry for myself… Whenever I’m not feeling my best, I ask myself, ‘What are you going to do about it?’ I use the negativity to fuel the transformation into a better me.” Revenge doesn’t interest her, so it shouldn’t interest you. Figure out what you want in life and use your new-found free time and energy to really go for it.

Allow yourself time to grieve, because there’s no shame in being hurt. You know you’re fully entitled to your sadness. After all, breakups aren’t easy on anyone. When you care about someone and they’re suddenly no longer in your life, you have a right to grieve the loss, at least temporarily. While you certainly don’t want to end up wallowing long-term, it’s OK to feel sad for a while.

Rise above the BS. Don’t just seek to feel better again, make a real plan to do so. Don’t wait for time to ease the pain, work on making it happen sooner. Don’t get caught up in drama, hearsay about his new relationships, throwing pity parties, or any of that nonsense. You’ve got crap to do in life, and no amount of heartbreak is going to keep you from getting it done.

Ignore his ass, because you really don’t need him. When the relationship is over, it’s really over. You might feel tempted to reach out in the beginning to get closure, but you should soon move on and realize it’s not worth it. You don’t need to keep blowing up his phone months later, begging for another chance — you move on like a grown-up. You deserve happiness in your life, and getting stuck in the past only keeps you from creating a bomb ass future.

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