Marriage is arguably the most sacred gift, but if you end up in a toxic marriage, you’ll experience emptiness, loneliness, and misery to an extreme. That is, until you see a flicker of light from above, an exit labeled “DIVORCE.” I fought hard for my marriage until there was no other option, but I’ve learned so much from ending it, and I have to say that it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I Found Myself Again.
Sometimes it takes every ounce of what makes you, you getting stripped away until you’re a mere skeleton of what you used to be to finally start piecing yourself back together again. That’s what happened to me because I was in such a terrible relationship. Once I moved on, I started rediscovering ME.
I’m Not Afraid Of My Downfalls.
I know I’m not a morning person and I know I act buck wild when I’m directionally lost and the day doesn’t go as planned. You know what else I know? Nobody is perfect, and these characteristics that an ex tried to demean me for in the past actually aren’t dealbreakers in the eyes of real love. I now embrace all of my weaknesses while gently giving a warning for being unapologetically me.
I Became Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally Healthier.
The more miserable I became in my marriage, the more my health plummeted. I wasn’t making time for workouts and I was exhausted on every possible level. When I got divorced, I reinvested in my health. Not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I Radiate With Joy.
People tell me that they’ve never seen me so filled with happiness as I am nowadays. I see it when I look in the mirror and I finally see myself again instead of a fading girl stuck behind a reflected image. I feel it when I laugh without hesitation and when I’m honing a new skill. It’s incredible.
Bye-bye Heavy Burden, I’m Much Less Stressed Now.
I don’t feel the emotional stress of trying to make someone else happy when in reality, he’s the only one who can open himself up to that emotion. I don’t have to walk around with a fake smile plastered on my face while inside I feel tattered and crushed. I no longer have to hide and it’s wondrous.
I Rekindled Old Friendships.
I got married at a young age and most of my friends couldn’t relate. They were still in college and out rallying until 4 a.m. while I was at home, adulting. We lost touch for several reasons, one of which being that they told me that I was going to regret my decision to grow up so quickly. They were right, but you live and learn. I did, and after all was said and done, we rekindled our old friendships in a new chapter of life.
I No Longer Walk On Eggshells.
Honestly, I’ve become more assertive altogether. This is a quality that I’ve always longed to have but struggled with, especially while I was married. I was always afraid to stand up for myself because of the fight it would cause if I did. In turn, I used to be the type of person who tiptoed around the feelings of others. Not anymore! I’m not out to purposely hurt anyone’s feelings but I’ve swept the eggshells away and I’ve removed my filter. I speak my mind more than I’ve ever done in the past and it feels amazing.
Hope Found Its Way Into My Vocabulary.
I went from being a hopeless person to believing in it wholeheartedly. I believe that the future will be filled with thriving successes and true love will come my way. This mindset is something that took years to develop, and I know that what’s coming my way might not come when I’d like it to, but it’s going to be worth the wait.
I Began A New Career.
I always felt as though there was an elusive “more” for me in life, especially from a career standpoint. Once I closed the door on my post-divorce pity party, opportunities came flying at me that I would never have thought I could excel at. I jumped in head first, and I’ve never been happier or felt more “right” with my career decisions.
I Know What Settling Feels Like And I’ll Never Do It Again.
Settling feels like you’re perpetually running around the same track but you’re never making any progress; like all of your basic needs are met but life feels lackluster. For some people, it might not be the worst situation but for me it was. I’ll never let it happen again.
I Grew Closer To Family.
Family loves unconditionally. They’re there to kick your butt for making bad choices and to keep rooting you on when you need the extra push the most. Not having a spouse left me with extra time to spend with my family, making new memories and understanding that these relationships need nourishment too.
I Take Nothing For Granted.
I went through a dark time in the first few months of my divorce. I hurt so deeply and felt so lost that I didn’t even realize all of the wonderful things that had been taking shape around me. I had lost my home and the thoughts and dreams of what I hoped my life would be like but I had a brand new, precious baby boy, I was out of a toxic relationship, and I had the support of some of the most amazing, generous friends and family. Those are things that money can’t buy.
I Have Wisdom To Share
. A wise friend once told me that failure isn’t really a failure if you learn from it. It only counts as a failure if you keep repeating the same mistakes and you refuse to improve. I have come face to face with loss and I’ve been humbled by it. I’ve also learned so much about what I deserve, as well as what I have to offer my future spouse.
For the first time in my adult life, I feel as though I am free and can fully be ME. I don’t have to answer to anyone and I don’t have to live my life trying to please someone else who depended on my constant validation. I’m healed from my past wounds and I refuse to let my past make me jaded. I have a second shot at the life I’ve always dreamed of and I won’t let myself down this time.
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