In modern dating, it seems as if the most shameful thing you can do is ghost someone, disappearing without word or explanation. In my opinion though, sometimes it’s justified. I ghosted a guy who wouldn’t take a hint no matter what I said or did—here’s why I don’t regret it:
- I told him multiple times I didn’t feel that way about him. He had feelings for me that were simply unrequited. I didn’t stop talking to him the second after I told him I didn’t want to be with him in any way anymore because I thought we could both be mature adults and accept that things didn’t work out, but boy was I wrong. He couldn’t handle the fact that I rejected him so in the end, I deleted him from my life without saying a word.
- He wouldn’t leave me alone. Not a day went by where I didn’t hear from him multiple times. It was all too much. I’d take hours to reply to something and he’d get back to me within minutes. It started to feel like my phone was a burden. Not only that, but he was hanging out with our mutual friends more than usual just on the off chance he’d see me. Eventually, I started to become a hermit just to get away from him.
- I was trying to get over a breakup of my own. He was definitely a rebound for me and he knew from the very start that I was still completely heartbroken over my ex. Eventually, when I wanted things to just be over with him, I felt like I had to ghost him for my own sanity. I needed to deal with my own issues and I just couldn’t handle trying to navigate his problems too.
- I didn’t want to stay friends. I just wanted him out of my life. I don’t believe in staying friends with exes or even almost-relationship guys. I like to wash my hands of a man after a relationship ends. I find that’s the best way to move on with my life in a healthy and positive way. I had been too nice to him for too long all because we had mutual friends, but he was so persistent that finally I just didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. I needed him out of my life for good.
- I never gave him any indication that I had mixed feelings. I was 100 percent clear about the fact that I wasn’t interested in him. I didn’t continue to lead him on. I didn’t continue to initiate conversation after I ended things. I started off by replying to his messages but eventually, I needed to say goodbye forever and the only way I felt he would take me seriously was to become a ghost he simply had no way of contacting anymore.
- He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He kept thinking that he could change my mind or something. At first, I felt bad for him but then it got to the point where I was just plain annoyed. His obsessive attempts to change my mind just made the situation more and more pathetic. His presence was a burden in my life, and honestly, it wasn’t a burden I felt I deserved.
- He wanted to make me feel bad about the fact that I no longer wanted him. We were never actually a couple but he couldn’t accept that we never would be. I may have been interested in him once, but for me, it was always casual and I never kept that fact a secret. When I was over any sort of relationship with him, he wanted to play the victim. It was as if he thought that making me feel bad for him would make me want him back. Guess what? It didn’t.
- I turned down making plans with him but he still kept trying. If I was busy, he’d ask for a rain check. If I didn’t feel like going out, he’d ask if I wanted him to come over and stay in. If I flat out told him I didn’t want to hang out, he’d ask why and no matter how many times I explained, no reason was ever good enough. In the end, I had to leave him with no reason and no explanation at all because only then did I think he would finally get a clue.
- It started to feel like he was stalking me. The second I logged into Facebook, he was hitting me up on chat. We had mutual friends and he would just show up at any group get-together I went to and hang by side the entire time. He was texting me, calling me, watching my social media like a hawk, and constantly asking my friends about me. I felt like I had no privacy and that terrible feeling needed to end.
- In the end, I think I did what was best for the both of us. It was clear that he was never going to let me live my life if he still had access to it. He couldn’t cut the cord so I did it for him. Some people might find deleting and blocking every form of communication harsh but I found it necessary. He wasn’t going to move on any other way, so I simply stopped replying and then removed him from everything without a word—I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
